Question

出国留学商科申请essay怎么写

Answer 1

　　对于想要申请国外名校商科的同学来说，写好商科essay是非常关键的，要怎么写商科essay呢？为大家整理写作的相关信息，以及写作的范文，大家可以来参考一下。

　　 一、写作方向

　　为什么要读此专业？即学习动机。举例说明对这个专业的认识，目前的发展背景，以及以后的发展潜力。比如说，申请金融，目前经济形势下对金融人才的需求，金融业发展趋势等，以后的发展会怎样，所以我很向往。

　　之前在该领域有什么经历？这个内容的作用在于让人相信你能够胜任某专业的学习，也进一步加强了学习动机。另外，你的经历要与你的申请目标项目想匹配，正因为你有相关的经历，录取委员会认为你能够胜任以后的学习，并且在这方面发展的决心。通过这些经历你具体有哪些方面的能力和潜质，而这些能力正是这个专业的学生所应该具备和掌握的。比如，有过500强企业的实习，有在投资公司，证券公司的相关实践经历，肯定会给你的申请加分。

　　长短期职业目标。即毕业之后的计划，进入哪种行业，从事什么类型的工作，公司类型，职位细分等。职业目标既要体现一定的雄心或高瞻远瞩，又要注重切实可行。在这里，如果不是很清楚的话，可以站在行业leader的角度看问题，这样的话就可以看到自己以后未来的发展目标。通过你的描述要让录取委员会的老师看到，以后5-10年，你会是什么样子的。

　　 二、写作误区

　　命题作文写成了议论文

　　Essay是让申请者讲自己的故事，而不是通篇发表自己的观点。

　　许多学生容易陷入这个坑，例如在整篇文章中都谈论“失败的意义”。

　　要记住的是，谁的观点特别不重要，谁的故事更贴切命题和打动人更重要。

　　观点是容易重叠的，例如，一千个人当中999人都会认同“失败是成功之母”，而这一千个人的失败故事却各有各的精彩。

　　题目是如何要求的，我们就切题地去准备写作。

　　不需要标新立异在每个段落都陈述自己的观点，而是要让学校看到我们真实地去写只属于自己的故事。

　　简言之，任何故事不落地到自己的现实状况都是不合适的essay。

　　故事逻辑混乱

　　Essay类型多种多样，有让写成功经历的，有让写职业展望的，还有让写团队合作或者项目经历的。

　　无论是什么样的题目，学生们都容易陷入直接提笔开写的坑，而没有先规划好写作的逻辑。

　　一个好的故事如同一个引人入胜的剧本，有背景陈述，有高潮迭起，有引入反思的结尾。

　　一个段落内，句子与句子间有紧密的逻辑联系；段落与段落间，也能让招生官能轻易地掌握文章的衔接逻辑。

　　这样的Essay，才是好的essay。

　　记流水账而没有深度

　　Essay是让我们讲自己的故事，一次最终克服的挑战也好，一次带队成功的经历也好，故事是好写的，但写得多就容易陷入流水账的坑。

　　不少学生从这个故事是如何发生的开始讲，洋洋洒洒几大段落出去了，以为完整的故事却落得“没有深度”的坑。

　　“深度”正是展现我们思想的好机会，如果我们对已经发生的经历没有反思，没有自己独立的思考，那么写essay和写日记有什么区别呢？

　　所以，我们需要去把故事里的核心思想体现出来，用我们自己的语言去表达出原创独到的观点和见解，这是一篇好essay的必要元素。

　　数越多越有诚意

　　这是很多初次写essay的同学容易犯的错误。

　　是不是字数越多越好呢？其实不然。每个字每个词自然有它存在的意义。

　　华丽的文字固然让人眼前一亮，但堆砌而成的拥有华丽外表的文章却显得空洞且不真诚。

　　写essay时，应该始终记住：Less is More，少即是多。

　　精炼的文章比冗长的文章更加耐人寻味，对语言的要求也更高。

　　 三、写作范文

　　What else would I like you to know？

　　I am who I am today mostly because of my brother [name]. [name] was born when I was four years old， and he had an extremely rare birth defect called Robert＇s Syndrome. At the time， he was one of a handful in the world to have it. He was born without arms， couldn＇t walk or talk， and had many other severe physical and mental defects. It was a complete shock to my parents. He was only expected to live for a day or two， but after a few weeks in the hospital he was healthy enough to come home with us. I was too young to really understand what was going on； I was just excited to have a brother.

　　[name] was a full-time job for us. For his entire life he was incapable of doing anything for himself. My parents and I didn＇t have much， but we did have an amazing family and group of friends to support us. We couldn＇t have taken care of [name] without all of them， and seeing this level of sacrifice from so many people had a huge impact on me. No one ever complained. No one ever hesitated. We just did what we had to， and I saw first-hand at a young age how important it is to work together and help those around you. And our family （extended included）， became so much closer because of how we came together for [name]， and that closeness still holds today.

　　[name] ended up living for about four years， and I＇m so grateful for the lessons I learned from him. My generosity， kindness， team work， and independence， come directly from him being in my life. And learning to deal with that level of stress and responsibility made me a much， much stronger person than I would have been without.

　　So my family and I have carried [name]＇s memory with us since he passed in the form of giving to others. About ten years ago， we started a charity called [institution]， whose purpose is to supply beds and bedding to children in our area who are without. The thought was that [name] spent most of his life in bed， and if we hadn＇t had a decent one for him his life would have been so uncomfortable. As of this year， we have supplied almost [number] kids with mattresses， blankets， and stuffed animals， and each year we are able to help more and more children.

　　This mentality of service has been a big part of my life since we started [institution]， and as I got older I wanted to start branching out to new service opportunities. And let me tell you， [city] has been a great place to start. This city has made a serious impression on me. Anyone who＇s from here either loves it or hates it， but either way， [city] is the kind of place that defines a person. [city] is the underdog， full of unrealized potential. Living in a place like this has opened my eyes to the heartache of missed opportunities （not even mentioning our sports teams…）， and it＇s because of this that I＇ve become so involved in the community. I＇ve been able to work with so many very smart， driven people， and together we＇ve done a lot to make a positive impact. My work with the [institution] has allowed me to help raise over [number] for small， local NFPs， and my work with the [institution] has complemented that with a more hands-on， service based focus. And being a Big Brother through [institution] has allowed me to make a lasting， consistent impact in a more focused way.

　　All of these， together with working for a commercial bank， have given me a very satisfying life balance. I＇m able to do so many things， and able to make a tangible impact in each of them. But sometimes I do so much that I don＇t take the time to stop and look around – to process what＇s happening. This was missing in my life. I know that the path I＇d been taking was the right one for me， I＇d just never truly felt ready to move on to the next phase.

　　This changed this past summer when I did my first [event]. If you＇re not familiar with this， it＇s a [number] mile swim followed by a [number] mile bike and then a [number] mile run. Still seems nuts to me. I＇d never done a triathlon of any kind before I signed up for this， but was so overwhelmed by watching my friend compete in the same one the year before. I＇ll never forget the moment： I was watching a quadriplegic go up the final – and largest – hill in his wheelchair， sweating， grunting， and crying. And finishing. I＇m pretty sure everyone watching that was crying； it was one of the most moving things I＇d ever seen. So I signed up.

　　Training for this requires a serious amount of time， most of which you＇re alone with your thoughts （no music allowed during the race， so you train without）. Eight hours biking， five running， and two swimming， each week for seven months， is so mentally taxing， and your mind goes to some new places. I started reflecting a lot， and really began to understand the choices I＇ve made and the impact they＇ve had. I thought a lot about where I was in life， why I was there， and what I would have done differently along the way. I thought about what I wanted for my future， not just career-wise， but in order to be happy. And it＇s not so much that my views changed from this experience， but I feel like I＇ve gained a new level of clarity. I＇m much more confident in my life goals， and can pursue them with pride and conviction.

　　I＇m now ready to move on to the next phase of my life， and am very excited to do so.

Answer 2

1.先明确写作目的，让招生官更多方位地了解你，评估是否适合他们的项目。
2.简要介绍自己的成长背景、家庭环境、重要经历等，并阐述这些经历如何塑造了性格和价值观，以及为何选择商科作为未来发展方向。
3.明确阐述学术兴趣和职业目标，解释为什么对商科感兴趣，以及这一领域如何与长期职业规划相契合。
4.分享在学习、工作或社团活动中展现领导力的例子，说明是如何带领团队完成任务、解决问题，以及这些经历如何提升了你的领导力和团队合作能力。
5.突出重要成就，无论是学术上的、工作上的还是个人生活中的。
6.解析为什么选择这所学校
7.阐述入学后的学习计划和职业规划，以及期望如何为学校、社区乃至行业做出贡献。
在写作过程中一定要注意避免冗长和复杂的句子，要简洁、清晰的语言表达想法；写作也要结构清晰，段落间逻辑连贯，当然不能忽视个性化，写作更要注意真实，避免夸大其词或编造事实。