Question

一篇英语文章，请大虾们帮忙修改一下，语法错误的，谢谢啦，重谢

My view on Shanghai Exposition
Having expected for over several months，I finally had the chance to get there with my friends. Not only felt exciting before the trip that made me nearly insomnia, I’m really eager to see the exhibits showed in the Expo.

It’s a long time for us to get there. Although we set up before five o’clock, we still found it hard to get into any of the pavilion of the large population. After over two hours’ waiting, we enter our first pavilion—the Japan's industrial Museum. Then we felt it really worth for us to get here despite the large population and the hot weather, because the Japan's industrial Museum adopted full computer control technology, and showed huge image which is larger than any of the movie screen in Japan to the audience. They showed their newest technology and their concept of environmental protection. The most thing attract us is that they divided their pavilion into eight parts, very part is just a wonder for us.

Another most interesting pavilion for us is Coke-Cola Pavilion. It’s building looked great, and the Pavilion is a two storey building, the architectural style emphasizes the contrast and color changes and excess, simple and unique. All walls are made of metal storm shutters, painted red, "Coca-Cola". Entering the pavilion, you will see some cartoons about how Coke-Cola is made. It’s invented of course, but the people also promote happy and healthy living styles to people by artful design. At last, they will teach you a small game which shake one kind of their coke to make it frozen. It’s really interesting.

Everything goes smoothly although we didn’t finally enter some hot pavilion such as the Saudi Arabia Pavilion and the Chinese pavilion. I feel the duty we had to construct our country is major. And only by this can made us know the duty.
竞赛的。。。。语法错太多直接被刷了

Answer 1

My view on the Shanghai Expo
Having been waiting for several months,I finally got the chance to go to Shanghai Expo with my friends.Realizing that my dream had finally come true,the excitement I felt in my heart was beyond description.
It took us quite a long time to get there.Although we got up before 5 o'clock in the morning,seas of people were ahead of us when we got there.Naturally we were unable to carry out our original plan to go to any pavilion we wanted to.Then we waited at the Japan Industrial Pavilion and after 2 hours we finally got through the crowd and entered into it.
Walking inside the Japanese pavilion was really an amazing experience for us and we felt it really worthwhile despite the hot weather and long-time waiting.Presented before our eyes,were products of high technology fully controlled by the computer which we had never seen before.They explained the definition of the combination between high technology and environmental protection through the marvellous display.The Japan Industrial pavilion was divided into 8 parts and each one was a wonder to us.
The Coca-cola Pavilion is another impressive one we went to.The two-storey building looked gorgeous from the outside.The architecture revealed a sense of simplicity and uniqueness.Meanwhile it displayed a contrast of the red and white colors.The wall adopted red from the coca-cola bottle as its background color and another typical coca-cola picture the blue sea waves dotted on it here and there.Such arrangement of colors and picutures produced a joyful feeling and made people feel energetic and inspired.The experience inside this pavilion was also unforgettable and the game in which the working people there taught us how to freeze one kind of the coca-colas through shaking it left a deep impression on me.
Everything went smoothly.However,time elapsed so fast and one days had gone before we realized it.And in the end,we still had several hot pavilions like the Saudi Arabia and China pavilions not been to.We had a tiring but happy journey back and all of us felt quite satisfied with our decision to go there.
Having seen so many extraordionary constructions,a strong sense of responsibilty to help making our country stronger erupted from the bottom of my heart.Glorious as this expo is,I know our mother country is still lagging behind in many other fields of the world.Be a useful citizen for our country,this is the call of the times and also the responsilities of ourselves!

Answer 2

1.Having expected for over several months，I finally had ...
（having had expected...,因为后面用的是had 要一致。）
2Not only felt exciting before the trip that made me nearly insomnia, I’m really eager to see the exhibits showed in the Expo.
（I'm so eager to admire the exhibits showed in the Expo that I got insomnia before the trip.）
3.Although we set up before five o’clock, we still found it hard to get into any of the pavilion of the large population.
(Although setting up before five o'clock,we still found it hard to get into any pavilions of large population. )
4Then we felt it really worth for us to get here despite the large population and the hot weather, because the Japan's industrial Museum adopted full computer control technology, and showed huge image which is larger than any of the movie screen in Japan to the audience.
(Despite the large population and the hot weather,we felt worthy to enter the museum,which adopted full computer control technology and showed huge image to the audience.)
5.newest technology
(latest)
6.The most thing attract us is that they divided their pavilion into eight parts, very part is just a wonder for us.
(The most impressive thing was....,and every part was a miracle to us all.)
7Another most interesting pavilion for us is Coke-Cola Pavilion.It’s building looked great, and the Pavilion is a two storey building, the architectural style emphasizes the contrast and color changes and excess, simple and unique.
(As for us,Coke-Cola Pavilion which is a two storey building was also very interesting.)
希望以上有所帮助吧 嘿嘿。。。。。。

Answer 3

你那是作业吗？如果不是的话我建议你不要去深入的研究语法，主要是积累词汇，我深有感触。就像我中国人谁说话前要想语法啊。只要说出来能听的懂就好了啊 ~~~This is my advice ,the decide must be for youself .Attitude is everything~~~~the important of speak English in the future~~~

Answer 4

你的作文也太......