Question

谁能帮我一下挑错：Why do you think you can be a good employee for the job?(At least 100 words)

这是我简历里的一个问题：我的答案是：I am confident that I will be an excellent employee.There are the brief reasons.
Firstly,my English isn’t too bad.I have passed College English Test Band Four and I use my English frequently.I like chating on line,visting English webs,and even keeping diaries in English.Secondly,I am easy-going and conversatinal.I have amount of alien friends,so I know how to get along with the foreigners.Thirdly,I am down-to-earth and I am able to work under great pressure.Besides,I am studious and energetic.I can adapt to the new environment immediatey.
So I believe that I can succeed.
谁能帮我一下挑错，另外帮我丰富丰富，字数不够啊。

Answer 1

1.删除There are the brief reasons，画蛇添足的一句

2.“Firstly,my English isn’t too bad.” 不能用 isn't too bad，你都说你对自己会是一名优秀员工非常有信心了，第一个原因就说自己英语不太差，不太差就代表不优秀，在这里你首先是强调自己的英语语言技能良好，而不能谦虚为不太差。所以建议用肯定的方式, "Firstly, I have a good command of English. During my spare time, I always browse English website and note down the daily-used phrases, which will help me much with English communication in working.

3. 去掉“I like chating on line,visting English webs,and even keeping diaries in English.”你是去谈工作的，谈你在工作上的优势，不是谈你上网时如何学英语的。

4。是 conversational，打字打错了

5。外国朋友直接用 a lot of foreign friends就OK了，口语化易懂。另外，你有不少外国朋友并不是你可以和外国人相处的很好理由。那中国人都有很多中国朋友，是否意味着就能和每个中国人很好相处呢？因果关系并不明显。

6。抗压能力那一句，要加以实例说明最好。嘴上说的谁都会吹呀。实例为上。

7。你说的都是一些形容词，加以实例说明会更好。

最后那句：“So I believe that I can succeed.”，你是去应聘的，搞得自信过头了，而是用带有希望似的语句，“I will ..., I am very interested in ..., I hope I can bring ..for the company”之类的，能让公司认为聘用你，你对他们会做出的贡献/好处。

既然你对自己很自信，那就自己组织语言再完善一些。

还有记得说自己的缺点，但是又能够被公司认可的缺点，比如有时候性子急，不喜欢拖拖拉拉。人无完人。

Answer 2

基本没错误，就是这两处得修改下：
第二句：There改为Here，读起来更通顺。
第五行：I have amount of alien friends改为I have many alien friends.
丰富：
I am pretty confident that I will be an excellent employee in your company.Here are the brief reasons.
Firstly,my English is quite good.I have passed College English Test Band Four and I use my English frequently,such as chating on line,visting English webs,and even keeping diaries in English.Secondly,I'm easy-going and conversatinal.With a number of alien friends,I know how to get along with the foreigners.Thirdly,I'm a person who is down-to-earth.Even under great pressure,I can accomplish my job perfectly.Moreover,I am studious and energetic.I can adapt to the new environment immediatey.
So I believe that I can succeed.

Answer 3

呃呃，我有点吹毛求疵，janpple别在意啊～

第二句最好here开头。
i have AMOUNTS of alien friends
另外，短句子实在是有点多，把一些相关句子合并在一起，会更好。
“I”用的太多了。。我一个复旦英国文学专业的朋友说写东西用太多“i”很弱智。。
别用太多be动词。
还有，不要说 my engligh isnn't too bad，显得没自信。说my engligh is acceptable更好。。。
至于说丰富，多举一些具体例子，比如你怎么表现得down-to-earth。

Answer 4

I am confident that I will be an excellent employee.
Firstly, I have a good command of English. During my spare time, I always browse English websites and note down the daily-used phrases, which will help me much with English communication in working.Secondly,I am easy-going and conversational.I have a lot of foreign friends,so I know how to get along with the foreigners.Thirdly,I'm a person who is down-to-earth.Even under great pressure,I can accomplish my job perfectly. This summer holiday I worked in a small restaruant in Nanjing,then I worked more than 14 hours one day,no weekends,no holidays,for a whole month. Moreover,I am studious and energetic.I can adapt to the new environment immediately.
Whatever I will do,I will try my best to do it . I am very interested in working in USA, I hope I can bring profit and happiness for the company.Thank you.

Answer 5

I am confident that I can be an excellent employee.
First, I know that English is very important in this society and I 'm confidece of my English. For I have passed College English Test Band Four and I use my English frequently.I like chatting on line in English ,visting English webs,and even keeping diaries in English.
Second,I am easy-going and out-going.I have many foreign friends.so I know how to get along well with foreigners.
Third,My professional knowlege is powerful and I can work under great pressure.Besides,I am studious and energetic.I can adapt to the new environment quickly.
So I believe that I can be a good employee for the job.Can you give both of us a chance?