Question

帮我看下我的作文如何

马上中考了，自己随便找了个题目写了一篇，帮忙看下，谢谢！

我的初中生活
岁月如同指缝间流过的细沙，在不经意间悄然滑落。三年的初中生活已经离我而去，带走了稚气，留下了成熟，同时还给予了我美好的回忆。
依然记得初一迈进校门的一刹那，心中涌起无限的激动与喜悦，带着希望怀揣梦想的我踏上了初中生涯。老师，我未曾忘却，我们初次见面的画面。您牵着我的手将我领进教室，脸上的笑容丝毫不掩饰您对我的关心，让我感受到在阳光下沐浴般的温暖。朋友，我还清晰记得，我们相识相交的画面。我们曾许诺过要考上同一所重点高中，于是，我们携手共进，为理想而一同奋斗。初一，我在牵手中成长。
带着甜美的笑容，我进入了初二的生活。那时，友谊之花已悄然绽放，整个班级显得十分和睦、团结。在运动会上，我们一矫健的身姿勇夺第一；在歌咏比赛上，我们以优美的歌声技压群雄。春游、农训······我们一路伴随着欢声笑语。初二，那是精彩的一年。
随着时间的推移，我满怀斗志的迎来了初中的最后一站——初三。到了初三，学业开始加重，作业逐渐增多。校园里，少了一些往日的欢声笑语，却多了几声讨论时的激烈言辞；少了一些快乐游戏，却多了几分埋头书海的认真答题。在紧张与期盼中，我也少了几分稚气，多了几分成熟。初三，我在拼搏中慢慢长大。
时光荏苒，岁月飞逝，蓦然回首，我的初中生活如此多彩。即使成为回忆，也依然亮丽。初中生活的缤纷我会铭记在心，永不忘记。

Answer 1

作文以总—分—总的结构来写，语言精练，重在抒情，富有感染力。但字数太少，一般中考作文都在700字以上，你的作文题目是“我的初中生活”因此可以举一些具体事利，这样始文章更富有真实性。

Answer 2

不错耶！你怎么不找家长看看呢？

Answer 3

好短……初中作文不可能就只写这么一点字的吧 结构倒还好

Answer 4

字数应该多一点。语言简练，表达了自己的真实想法。其实你可以举一些事例，比如说运动会，歌咏比赛，然后再写写自己的想法。这样文章才会更好。

Answer 5

Freedom for many children is the coming day when they could improve myself in their own way to use my 24 hours. They can study language by watching film instead of working on boring grammar and multiple choices.
Freedom is as simple as my playing piano all night without worrying about disturbing my 14-year-old neighbour who has to go to school the next day for my house is specially made.
It also could be freedom in my dream that one day, political democracy becomes true. Freedom in my life is the name of all kindness and happiness.
People have common desire under the sun. For mankind, freedom commonly means respect, love, blessing and dignity. For some people, freedom is that some day, he can give up his own interests to guarantee others’ rights. It is no wonder that so many people fought for freedom even didn’t hesitate to give up their lives when necessary .
I would like to be a freedom fighter for human rights some day in future.
环境问题：
The world is not only hungry, it is also thirsty. This may sound strange, since nearly seventy percent of the earth's surface is covered with water. But about ninety percent of this is sea water. Man and most of the animals can only drink and use the remaining percent of water——fresh water.
The need for water is increasing day by day. Only steps are taken to deal with this problem immediately can we avoid a severe world wide water shortage later on. One of the first steps is to develop ways to reuse it.
Experiments have already keen carried out in this field. The used witer has been pumped to a water purifying plant. There, it can be separated from