Question

求几个英文小笑话（要搞笑的哦，简短的，不用多）

Answer 1

　　1)TOM'S EXCUSE
　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
　　Slow".
　　汤姆的借口
　　老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
　　汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
　　2)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
　　“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
　　一盒火柴
　　妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
　　“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
　　3)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
　　Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
　　开车
　　父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
　　苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
　　4)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
　　Teacher: Please tell us.
　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　两只鸟
　　老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
　　学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
　　老师：请说说看。
　　学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
　　5)Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

　　Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

　　Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

　　Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

　　半个还是十分之五

　　老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘？

　　杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

　　老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

　　杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

　　Heat and Cold

　　A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things smaller." “All right! ”Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are shorter because it is cold."

　　热和冷

　　学校里正在上物理课.
　　老师提问:"现在谁能讲一讲对热的认识?"一个小男孩举手回答:"老师,热能使东西膨胀,冷能使东西缩小."老师说:"很好,举一个例子.""夏季,白天变长,因为天气太热；冬季白天缩短,因为天气太冷."

　　The Doctor Knows Better

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
　　医生懂得多

　　一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

　　听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
　　The Fish Net

　　“Can you tell me what fish net is made， Ann？”

　　“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.

　　鱼网

　　“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？” 老师发问道。

　　“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。” 小女孩回答道。

　　4、

　　The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　“George， how did you like your new teacher？” asked his mother.

　　“I didn’t like her， Mother， because she said that three and three were six and then she said

　　that two and four were six too……“

　　新老师

　　9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

　　“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。

　　“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6， 可后来又说2加4也得6.”

　　5、

　　A physics Examination

　　Once in a physics examination， Nick finished the first question very soon， while his classmates

　　were thinking it hard.The question was： When it thunders why do we see the lighting first， then

　　hear the thunderrolls？ Nick’s answer： Because our eyes are before ears.

　　一次物理考试

　　在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

　　这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

　　尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

Answer 2

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。