Question

帮我检查一下我的英语作文有没有错。

My dream
In five years ,I want to be a policeman.Because I think policemen are very mighty and handsome ,so I want to be a policeman in my future.When I was a ten-year-old child,I wanted to be a doctor. Because they can help cure patients,and they work in the hispital. So I had a lot of dream. But now I want to be a vet, because I love animals . I often play with animals.Vets can look after animals and they can work with animals every day. I believe I can be a vet in my future because it is my dream.
如果可以帮我在凑到总共200词，好的再加20分

Answer 1

Because 和 so不能连用，去掉任何一个，保留一个就行
I wanted to be a doctor. Because they can help cure patients,and they work in the hispital. 这从意思上来说是一个句群的，不应用句号句掉，改为：I wanted to be a doctor, because they can help cure patients,and they work in the hispital.
a lot of dream 改成 a lot of dreams（可数名词用复数形式）

还有你到底想成为警察还是兽医，都是 现在想成为的 want to be，两个梦想成为的职业？

Answer 2

My dream
In(改为at) five years(去掉years) ,I want (改为wanted)to be a policeman.Because I think(改为thought) policemen are very mighty and handsome ,so I want (改为wanted)to be a policeman in my future.When I was a ten-year-old child,I wanted to be a doctor. Because they can help cure patients,and they work in the hispital(改为hospital). So I had a lot of dream(改为复数）. But now I want to be a vet, because I love animals . I often play with animals.Vets can look after animals and they can work with animals every day. I believe I can be a vet in my future because it is my dream.

Answer 3

Everyone has his dream. When I was five years old ,I wanted to be a policeman. Because I think policemen are very mighty and handsome, so I want to be a policeman in my future. When I was a ten-year-old child, I wanted to be a doctor. Because they can help cure patients, and they work in the hospital. But now my dream is to be a famous journalist in the future. When I grow up, I'm going to be a journalist. Next year, I'm going to write articles for magazines and newspapers. I'm going to a university in Beijing after senior school. Maybe I'm going to find a part-time job and save some money. Next, I'm going to work for a TV station as a journalist. Then I'm going to travel all over the world. What is your dream in the future? Would you like to tell me?

追问

谢谢，但是Everyone has his dream，一定是his吗？对不起，我分已经给他了

Answer 4

When I was a ten-year-old child前加but 因为这一句开始与前面你梦想当警察不同
So I had a lot of dream感觉有点多余

Answer 5

My dream
When I was five years old ,I wanted to be a policeman, because I think policemen are very mighty and handsome.When I was a ten-year-old child,I wanted to be a doctor, for the reason that doctors can cure patients and work in hospital. So I've dreamt of that a lot. But since I like animals and often play with them, I now want to be a vet. Vets look after animals and spend time with animals every day. I believe I'll achieve my goal someday in the future.
大概改了一下