谁帮我改改这段英语作文?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ontheotherhand,reducingstressisbeneficialtoourmentalhealth.Asweallknowthatapersonwith... On the other hand, reducing stress is beneficial to our mental health. As we all know that a person with good psychology will live a longer time. Thus, mental health is significant for us. From my point of view, through reading a favorite book or listening to music, even singing song to KTV with friends, which all could reduce my pressure from many aspects, and make it better for me into next study.

改语法和更好的表达!!!!多谢!!!!!!!!
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雪夜_落樱
2012-10-19 · TA获得超过1519个赞
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语法没有什么问题吧- - 这个顺序改改会更好一点

As we all know that a person with good psychology will live a longer time.On the other hand, reducing stress is beneficial to our mental health. Thus, mental health is significant for us. From my point of view, through reading a favorite book or listening to music, even singing song to KTV with friends, which all could reduce my pressure from many aspects, and make it better for me into next study.

我们都知道,一个人具有良好的心理活更长时间。另一方面,减少压力是有益于我们的健康。因此,心理健康是重要的对我们。从我的角度,通过阅读一本喜欢的书或听音乐,甚至唱歌曲的朋友,都可以减少我的压力来自许多方面,使其更好地为我的下一步研究。
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rbrt6
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On the other hand, reducing stress is beneficial to our mental health. As we all know, a person with good MIND will live a longer time. Thus, mental health is significant for us. From my point of view, READING A FAVORITE BOOK, LISTENING TO MUSIC OR even singing SONGS to KTV with friends could reduce my pressure from many aspects, and make ME MORE READY into THE next study.
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百度网友234894a
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On the other hand, reducing pressure is beneficial to our mental health. As we all know that a man with good psychology will live a longer time. Thus, mental health is significant for us. From my point of view, reading a favorite book or listening music, even singing songs in KTV with friends, that all could reduce my pressure and make me better for the next study.

修改 一下,希望对你有帮助
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