Question

有哪位大神可以帮忙修改一下这篇作文，并写一下小评语，感激不尽，急啊!！！！！！！

I have a friend who was my classmate.Herfather is a pliceman.So her father always not at home,her.mother takes her seriously.

She always signed and told me that she had a bad luck.I asked the reason.she told me that her mother is too serious to limit her,she can't play computer,cellphone and read youth novel.she can't go out on weekends.if someone called her,her mother would ask him/her about his/her score and family.T worst thing as her mother would check her bag and room without her perimt.All the things her mother done made her felt ashamed and sorrowful.She thought that she was old enough to deal with her life but her mother forbidden.She thought it was a bad luck to have such a mother.

"You are so lucky,your parents would not force you to do anything,they respect your opinions and would not check your bag and room,they gives you your private space.It is truth,I had no idea to comfort her."I want to have such parents,too!"At that moment,I thought about my family.Every day I back home,my father would wait for me at doorway,mom has prepare a very delicious dinner.How warm it is.I looked into her eyes.On the one hand,I thought her mother is loving her so much that can not control her concern.I asked her,"why not think about reason your mother done these?""why?"She was confused."Because of love",she was shocked and seemed like can't believe it."But I don't think she used a right way.Maybe you can talk to her,make her know more about you and realize you're a adult."I said."Compare with some orphans,your are so lucky."I gave her word back and smiled.

When we are born into world,we are be loved.Even if orphans,they have choices to love and to be loved.So lucky we are.In my opinion,"luck"just a word.It depends on my mind.

Answer 1

开头第一句用的是was，所以文章基本上除了引号内的话不改，所有的现在时都要改成过去式。
第一行always前后缺少谓语。
第三行too...to表示太而不能，所以里面不是用的limit而是permit。
第五行最好用outside，go out现在流行翻译为骂人的话。
第六行用permition比permit好。
第七行make...do，用的是动词原形，所以feel。
第九行不怎么用respect，一般是得到尊重，但不是尊重什么什么。
第十行用give，因为是两个人以上，但是那都是过去式，所以最好gave。
第11行get back home，缺少谓语。
倒数第5行seemed like can't believe it.语法错误，怎么的后面不会再有can't了。
倒数第3行gave her word是许下承诺的意思，这个不太对，尤其是后面还跟了2个似形容非形容的单词。
倒数第二行are be loved错误，beling。
最后"luck"just a word，缺谓语动词。

评语：语法乱用，语句不通，只是一个直接从中文转英文的失败例子。

Answer 2

英语……算了，看不懂。要是语文还好些。