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Mostpeoplesay"yes"muchmorereadilythan"no".Afriendismovinghousethisweekendandwouldlike...
Most people say" yes" much more readily than" no".
A friend is moving house this weekend and would like some
help,and you agree. But, what you really wanted was relaxing at
home for a couple of quiet days,or a roommate spends the whole
weekend playing video games and wants to borrow your homework
for"reference". But,you've just finished it after working hard for a
whole day.
Many people say" yes" to this kind of requests. They tend not
to consider their own interests and feelings,and are often angry with
themselves afterwards. Saying" no" requires courage and considerable
practice. " Everyone wants to be liked. " says Gabriele Steinki,a
German psychologist. "Saying'no'risks losing the affection of the
person asking for the favor. Or even a job. "The result is that many
people say"yes"just for keeping the peace. But experts say this is
regrettable. Anyone should have the right to say" no". In fact, rejecting
a request can even help to stabilize a relationship because it
expresses real affection. But,for peop'le accustomed to agreeing every
request,it's very distressing to say" no".
Most people believe that if they say" no" ,they'll lose the affection
of the person. But the affection is important to them. This way
of thinking can be replaced by this:"If he only likes me because I
always do what suits him,then the price of this affection is too high
in the long term. "
When people say " no", Steinki advises giving the reasons
calmly until the person gets the message. 展开
A friend is moving house this weekend and would like some
help,and you agree. But, what you really wanted was relaxing at
home for a couple of quiet days,or a roommate spends the whole
weekend playing video games and wants to borrow your homework
for"reference". But,you've just finished it after working hard for a
whole day.
Many people say" yes" to this kind of requests. They tend not
to consider their own interests and feelings,and are often angry with
themselves afterwards. Saying" no" requires courage and considerable
practice. " Everyone wants to be liked. " says Gabriele Steinki,a
German psychologist. "Saying'no'risks losing the affection of the
person asking for the favor. Or even a job. "The result is that many
people say"yes"just for keeping the peace. But experts say this is
regrettable. Anyone should have the right to say" no". In fact, rejecting
a request can even help to stabilize a relationship because it
expresses real affection. But,for peop'le accustomed to agreeing every
request,it's very distressing to say" no".
Most people believe that if they say" no" ,they'll lose the affection
of the person. But the affection is important to them. This way
of thinking can be replaced by this:"If he only likes me because I
always do what suits him,then the price of this affection is too high
in the long term. "
When people say " no", Steinki advises giving the reasons
calmly until the person gets the message. 展开
2个回答
展开全部
大多数人说“是”要比“不”更容易。
一位朋友要搬家这个周末,想一些
帮助,并且您同意。但是,你真正想要的是在放松
家里的一对夫妇的平静的日子,还是室友花费整个
周末玩视频游戏,并希望借你的功课
为“参考” 。但是,你刚刚打拼了之后完成它
整整一天。
很多人说“是”的这种请求。他们往往不
要考虑自己的利益和感受,也常常生气
自己算账。说“不”需要勇气和相当的
实践。 “每个人都希望被人喜欢。 ”加布里埃莱Steinki ,一说
德国心理学家。 “ Saying'no'risks失去的亲情
人要求的青睐。甚至工作。 “其结果是,许多
人说“是”只是为了维持和平。但专家说,这是
令人遗憾的。任何人都应该则颤有权说“不”的权利。事实上,拒绝
请求甚至可以帮助稳定的关系,因为它
表达真实情感。但是,对于孙携败peop'le习惯同意每
的要求,这是非常令人隐亩痛心的说“不” 。
大多数人认为,如果他们说“不” ,他们会失去亲情
的人。但亲情是重要的。这样
思维可以通过这个来代替: “如果他只喜欢我,因为我
永远做适合他,那么这段感情的价格太高
从长远来看。 “
当人们说“不” , Steinki建议给予理由
冷静,直到人得到的消息。
一位朋友要搬家这个周末,想一些
帮助,并且您同意。但是,你真正想要的是在放松
家里的一对夫妇的平静的日子,还是室友花费整个
周末玩视频游戏,并希望借你的功课
为“参考” 。但是,你刚刚打拼了之后完成它
整整一天。
很多人说“是”的这种请求。他们往往不
要考虑自己的利益和感受,也常常生气
自己算账。说“不”需要勇气和相当的
实践。 “每个人都希望被人喜欢。 ”加布里埃莱Steinki ,一说
德国心理学家。 “ Saying'no'risks失去的亲情
人要求的青睐。甚至工作。 “其结果是,许多
人说“是”只是为了维持和平。但专家说,这是
令人遗憾的。任何人都应该则颤有权说“不”的权利。事实上,拒绝
请求甚至可以帮助稳定的关系,因为它
表达真实情感。但是,对于孙携败peop'le习惯同意每
的要求,这是非常令人隐亩痛心的说“不” 。
大多数人认为,如果他们说“不” ,他们会失去亲情
的人。但亲情是重要的。这样
思维可以通过这个来代替: “如果他只喜欢我,因为我
永远做适合他,那么这段感情的价格太高
从长远来看。 “
当人们说“不” , Steinki建议给予理由
冷静,直到人得到的消息。
展开全部
朋友是这个周末搬家,想一些和粗
帮助,你同意。但是,你真正想要的是放松
家的安静几天,或者一个室友花整个
周末玩电脑游戏,想借你的作业
“参考”。但是,你刚刚完成它后努力工作
整整一天。
很多人说“是”这样的请轿蠢求。他们往往不
考虑自己的利益和感受,经常生气
后来自己。闭棚陪说“不”需要勇气和相当大的
练习。“每个人都想被人喜欢。Gabriele Steinki说
德国心理学家。“说‘不'risks失去的感情
人要求。甚至是工作。“结果是,许多
人们说“是的”只是为了维持和平。但专家说这是
令人遗憾的。任何人都应该有权利说“不”。事实上,拒绝
一个请求,因为它甚至可以帮助稳定关系
表达真实的情感。但是,对于不太前甲板习惯于同意每一个
请求时,它很悲伤的说“不”。
大多数人认为,如果他们说“不”,他们会失去感情
的人。但感情是重要的。这种方式
的思维可以取而代之的是这样的:“如果他只喜欢我,因为我
总是做适合他,那么这个感情的价格太高了
从长远来看。”
当人们说“不”,Steinki建议的原因
平静地,直到得到消息的人。
帮助,你同意。但是,你真正想要的是放松
家的安静几天,或者一个室友花整个
周末玩电脑游戏,想借你的作业
“参考”。但是,你刚刚完成它后努力工作
整整一天。
很多人说“是”这样的请轿蠢求。他们往往不
考虑自己的利益和感受,经常生气
后来自己。闭棚陪说“不”需要勇气和相当大的
练习。“每个人都想被人喜欢。Gabriele Steinki说
德国心理学家。“说‘不'risks失去的感情
人要求。甚至是工作。“结果是,许多
人们说“是的”只是为了维持和平。但专家说这是
令人遗憾的。任何人都应该有权利说“不”。事实上,拒绝
一个请求,因为它甚至可以帮助稳定关系
表达真实的情感。但是,对于不太前甲板习惯于同意每一个
请求时,它很悲伤的说“不”。
大多数人认为,如果他们说“不”,他们会失去感情
的人。但感情是重要的。这种方式
的思维可以取而代之的是这样的:“如果他只喜欢我,因为我
总是做适合他,那么这个感情的价格太高了
从长远来看。”
当人们说“不”,Steinki建议的原因
平静地,直到得到消息的人。
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