Question

my favourite movie

My favourite movie name is "IP MAN".
The story is about a Chinese man how to defeat a Japanese general.His name is YeWen.when he was young,he was a rich boy.He liked Kongfu name was Yongchun so much.He studied Yongchun every day.He practiced hardly that so many fighters have been defeated by him.
In 1937,Japanese army invaded China.So did his family.He became poor and he lived in a small house.He hadn't got enough food to eat.So he need a job cause he had to took care of his family.
One day,when he was working.A Japanese officer came to the factory and said"I want to find 10 fighters.My general will fight with you.If you win,you'll get a bag of rice!Who come with me?!"
Yewen knew if he went with him,he would not came back.He had to took care of his family.But one of his best friend Wu went with the Japanese officer.He wanted to defeat that general.Although he tried his best,he was also killed by general.A few days later ,Yewen still did not see his friend,he was worried about him.When that Japanese officer came to found fighters again.Yewen went with him that found his friend.When he arrived the arena.He saw many fighters were killed.He understood why his friend not came back.He was so anger.In order to avenge his friend.He stormed into the arena and defeated 10 Japanese fighters.The general was surprised,he decided to defeat him in front of the Chinese people by his Karate.For Chinese dignity and his friend,he accepted.Decisive battle of the day, so many Chinese people came to watch it.Finally,he defeated general.
This movie is action movie and the true stroy of the movie content.I like this movie because hero's national spirit.when I saw this movie I was electrify.That was so great movie!
以上是小弟写的一篇作文，希望有大侠能帮我纠正错误，谢谢

Answer 1

My favourite movie name is "IP MAN".
The story is about how a Chinese man defeat a Japanese general.His name is YeWen.when he was young,he was a rich boy.He liked Kongfu named Yongchun so much,he studied Yongchun every day.He practiced very hard that many fighters was defeated by him.
In 1937,Japanese army invaded China.So did his family.He became poor and lived in a small house.He didn't have enough food to feed his family so he took a job working in a factory.
One day,when he was working.A Japanese officer came to the factory and said"I want to find 10 fighters.My general will fight with you.If you win,you'll get a bag of rice!Who would come with me?!"
Yewen knew if he went with him,he would not came back.He had to took care of his family.But one of his best friend Wu went with the Japanese officer.He wanted to defeat that general.Although he tried his best,but still,he was killed by general. Yewen started to worried about him since he hadn't shown up for a few days.When that Japanese officer came to found fighters again.Yewen went with him to find his friend.When he arrived the arena.He saw many fighters were killed.He understood why his friend didn't come back.He was so angry.In order to avenge his friend's death.He stormed into the arena and defeated 10 Japanese fighters.The general was surprised,he decided to defeat him in front of the Chinese people by Karate.For Chinese dignity and his friend,he accepted.When the day came, so many Chinese came to watch.Finally,he defeated the general.
This is an action movie based on a true story.I like it because of the hero's patriotic spirit and the perfect editing with those splendid fight scene.I was deeply moved and therefore it has earned the place in my heart.

Answer 2

arena 是否应改为area，地区（第17行）

还有，你写的是你喜欢的电影，你为什么喜欢？喜欢在哪里？文章写叶问讲的主要内容，篇幅过多，你水平可能很高但是这样作文跑题了。我建议你写一下你印象最深的片段，即在原文上截取一下，然后抒情，最后升华一下。开头也要改，要开头结尾都点题。