Question

英语一分钟幽默小故事

Answer 1

An old soldier often told his garden about his past war exploits. "Once I met with a dozen enemy sol-diers and took them prisoners singlehand-ed." "It was half a dozen enemy soldiers when you told me the story last year.But why have you added so many more this time?" "You silly lad.You were younger last year,and I was afraid to frighten you." While wisiting the cemetery,a sorrowful couple noticed a headstone,which read,"here lies a lawyer and a honest nan"."look at that",the woman said,"money's so tight they're putting then o in a grave." Lawyer Jokes : A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave." These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. 　　

什么问题，不是问题吧

　　what is this ? 　　老处女求援 一个老处女打电话到消防队：“喂，喂！请赶快派 人来……有两个年轻人正想从窗子爬进我的房间！” 消防队的负责人告诉她：“是由警察处理的，你 为什么打电话到消防队来？” “因为，要从窗子爬进来，必须有一把长梯子才 行。” 　　有两条蛇遇到了一起. 其中有一条蛇问:"大哥,我们有毒吗?" 另一条蛇问:"你说这干啥." 那条蛇说:"我咬到了自己的舌头" 　　Let me take it down An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the *** allest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ." "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know." 为我所用 一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。” “请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 An old soldier often told his garden about his past war exploits. "Once I met with a dozen enemy sol-diers and took them prisoners singlehand-ed." "It was half a dozen enemy soldiers when you told me the story last year.But why have you added so many more this time?" "You silly lad.You were younger last year,and I was afraid to frighten you." While wisiting the cemetery,a sorrowful couple noticed a headstone,which read,"here lies a lawyer and a honest nan"."look at that",the woman said,"money's so tight they're putting then o in a grave." Lawyer Jokes : A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave." __________________________________ These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. __________________________________ Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. _________________________________ Q: What was the first thing your hu *** and said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. _________________________________ Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. __________________________________ Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. __________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. A:Nice to meet you. B:Nice to meet you,too. C:Nice to meet you,three.