Question

《哈利·波特》小说中的笑点是哪些？

Answer 1

Buzz: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room... if you were growing on my ass.
Marv: There! What are we gonna do with him, Harry?
Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us: we're gonna burn his head with a blowtorch.
Marv: And smash his face with an iron!
Harry: I like to slap him right in the face with a paint can.
Marv: And shove a nail through his foot!
Harry: First off, I'm gonna bite off his every little fingers one at a time.
(Just then, Marley knocks Harry and Marv with his shovel)
Kate: Kevin, get upstairs right now.
Kevin: Why?
Jeff: Kevin, you're such a disease.
Kevin: Shut up.
Peter: Kevin, upstairs.
Kate: Say good night, Kevin.
Kevin: "Good night, Kevin."
Kate: PETER! (They jump out of bed)
Kate and Peter: (shouting) We slept in!
Kevin: Buzz! I'm going through all your private stuff! You better come out and pound me!
Kevin: Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!
Harry: (seeing Marv laugh) What's so funny? What's so funny? What are you laughing at? (Marv covers his mouth) You did it again, didn't you? You left the water running, didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why'd you do that? I told you not to do it.
Marv: Harry, it's our calling card.
Harry: Calling card.
Marv: All the great ones leave their mark. We're the Wet Bandits.
Johnny: (hears knock at door) Who is it?
Snakes: (Snakes comes in) It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here!
Snakes: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said you had some dough for me.
Johnny: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%
Johnny: (smirks) Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: What do you mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs taking a bath, He'll call you when he gets out.
Hey, I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. (pulls out tommy gun)I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!
Snakes: (wide eyed and calm) All right, Johnny, I'm sorry!, I'm going!
Johnny: 1, 2, 10! (starts unloading bullets into Snakes while laughing maniacally)
Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
Johnny: Who is it?
Pizza Man: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here!
Pizza Man: Okay, but what about the money?
Johnny: What money?
Pizza Man: Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.
Johnny: How much do I owe you?
Pizza Man: That'll be $11.80, sir. (Kevin drops $12 cash from the door hatch)
Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
Pizza Man: Cheapskate.
Johnny: Hey, I'm going to give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! 1, 2, 10!
Kevin: A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.
Gangster Johnny: Get the hell outta here!
Snakes: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
Gangster Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said you had some dough for me.
Johnny: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%
Johnny: (smirks) Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: What do you mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs taking a bath, He'll call you when he gets out.
Hey, I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.
Marv: Snakes?
Gangster Johnny:I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!
Snakes: (wide eyed and calm) All right, Johnny, I'm sorry!, I'm going!
Johnny: 1, 2, 10! (starts unloading bullets into Snakes while laughing maniacally)
Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
Kate: No, he's just home alone.
Buzz: (shouting) Kevin! What did you do to my room!
Harry:' Why the hell did take your shoes off?
Marv Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?