Question

求英语好的帮忙修改一下这篇文章，并指点一下本人的写作水平，应该从何地方开始提高啊？ 谢谢了

2011年12月四级 maybe there are so many failure when you can have access to success.but if you hold on ,no matter how hard it is,a strong will will lead you to a bid success. i can well remember the first time when i rode bike.i fell down over and over agian,i was so angry that i could not contril the bike which was shaking. although it was clumsy for me to ride the shaking bike,but i believe that if i want to do it,i can do it.a strong will give me more power and strength.i asked my brother for some advices,and finally i did it.

nothing succeeds without a strong will,if you gradually lose your first will.finally you must lose the key tou success.so having a strong will when you do something ,no matter how difficult it is.

Answer 1

maybe there are so many failure when you can have access to success.这句failure为不可数名词，不能用many修饰，用You may fail many times before you succeed.

i can well remember the first time when i rode bike.i fell down over and over agian,这句when是多余的，the first time相当于连词，引导时间状语从句，rode bike应为rode a bike

i was so angry that i could not contril the bike which was shaking这句中contril应该是笔误吧，应为control

although it was clumsy for me to ride the shaking bike,but i believe that if i want to do it,i can do it.这句中although和but随便去掉一个，这两个词不能连用although为从属连词引导让步状语从句，but是并列连词。整句改为 Although it was clumsy of me to ride the shaking bike, I believed that if i wanted to do it,i could do it well。

a strong will give me more power and strength这句give改为gives，主语为单数。

i asked my brother for some advices,and finally i did it. 这句advices改为advice，advice是不可数名词

if you gradually lose your first will.finally you must lose the key tou success.这句must改为will

so having a strong will when you do something ,no matter how difficult it is.把having改为have，having是非谓语动词形式，此句中when和no matter how都是引导从句，应用have作谓语，祈使句

Answer 2

1.字数肯定不够
2.背诵一些连接词，英语作文最看重连接词，连接词可以体现你的逻辑性。比如固定的几个开头，第一点第二点第三点，然后总结的几句话，要学着背一下。
3.句型要多样化。

推荐几本书：《十天突破雅思写作》
写得很浅，但是很够用了。
多看一点范文，背一下别人的万用句子

Answer 3

maybe there are so many failures when you can get success.but if you hold on ,no matter how hard it is,a strong idea will lead you to success. i remember clearly the first time of riding bike.i fell down many times so that make me angry. i could not control the shakeing bike . although it was hard for me to ride ,but i believe that if i want to do it,i can do it.a strong will give me more strength.i asked my brother for some advices,and finally i made it.nothing succeeds without a strong will,if you gradually lose your first will.finally you will lose the key to success.my friend never give up知道>英语翻译> 问题页下载知道客户端，10分钟内有问必答待解决b: thank you all right can you say so匿名 20:07下载知道客户端，10分钟内有问必答我要回答提交回答匿名查看"英语翻译"分类更多问题回顶部↑搜索答案我要提问我要回答网页 百科 文库 图片 空间 更多>>下载知道客户端，10分钟内有问必答PZWWX的知道|退出百度>知道> 问题页版式：极速版| 炫彩版 |客户端11-09 20:15