Question

请高手帮忙判雅思作文，需要高手指正细节！

News media has become influential to our life nowdays.Some people think that it is a negative development .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The 21th century is the age of information explosion,to all the world,and nearly every one is more and more confitioned to get and ues all kinds of information..Meanwhiel,news media plays a highly influential role in our life. Because of this,some people think that it is a negative development.Personally,I think this view overlooks important factors of this issue.
There is no doubt that news media enriched our life and advanced personal quality to adapt to the high-speed development of world . To start with, news media saves us a great deal of time with less and actions to achieve our intention.For instance,in 1980,reading newspapers was the best way for people to get the news,but it costed money and time.By contrast,people would receive all kinds of news by pressing some buttons,because of vast of news medias ’putting in use.It makes it easy to enrich people’s lifu quality with less cost.In the second place,through the closercontaction between life and news media,people get numerous benefits on their study and work.News media affords a great deal of information which can satisfy our metal requisites.And we can get valuable information about work and study by the prevalent news media.More importantly,news media’s influential creats business and employment opportunities ceaselessly.
I admit that news media has detrimental influence upon our life nowadays. The reason for this is that there are not right action to avoid the disadvantage,to issustrate,the excessive violent and pornographic contents,all kinds of scandals,violating someone’s privacy and false news.Truly,they brings too much negative effections to society and hurt someone’s benefit.Even so,it is worth nothing that governments have been taking action to control the development of news media.Take China for example,this year China published the law about news media.It ordained the right and obligation of news media.
To sum up,news media’s growing is not without its adverse influences.However,the active effect created by news media far outweigh the disadvantages.I would conclude that we should limite ourselves in searching and reading news,to reduce the need to the badly news.At the same time,the government should pay more attention to punishment for regular the news medias’ action.

请高手指明错误，感谢之至!

Answer 1

The 21st century is the age of information explosion, to the entire world, and nearly every one is more and more conditioned to get and use all kinds of information. Meanwhile, news media plays a highly influential role in our life. Because of this, some people think that it is a negative development. Personally, I think this view overlooks important factors of this issue.
There is no doubt that news media enriched our life and advanced personal quality to adapt to the high-speed development of world. To start with, news media saves us a great deal of time with less and actions to achieve our intention. For instance, in 1980, reading newspapers was the best way for people to get the news, but it coasted money and time. By contrast, people would receive all kinds of news by pressing some buttons, because of vast of news Medias ’putting in use. It makes it easy to enrich people’s life quality with less cost. In the second place, through the closer contraction between life and news media, people get numerous benefits on their study and work. News media affords a great deal of information which can satisfy our metal requisites. And we can get valuable information about work and study by the prevalent news media. More importantly, news media’s influential creates business and employment opportunities ceaselessly.
I admit that news media has detrimental influence upon our life nowadays. The reason for this is that there are not right action to avoid the disadvantage, to Issus rate, the excessive violent and pornographic contents, all kinds of scandals, violating someone’s privacy and false news. Truly, they bring too much negative affections to society and hurt someone’s benefit. Even so, it is worth nothing that governments have been taking action to control the development of news media. Take China for example, this year China published the law about news media. It ordained the right and obligation of news media.
To sum up, news media’s growing is not without its adverse influences. However, the active effect created by news media far outweighs the disadvantages. I would conclude that we should limited ourselves in searching and reading news, to reduce the need to the badly news. At the same time, the government should pay more attention to punishment for regular the news Medias’ action.

Answer 2

你太谦虚了，你那么厉害！