Question

英语帝来！看这段文章有没有语法错误!!标题短短短

have you ever watched wwe？and which star is you favourite ?
today i will Introduce my favourite star randy orton .
randy is the wwe championship's owner and is the best heel in the raw. though he is a heel,but sometimes he is more poplaur than faces .
randy was born in 1980, when he was young he have achieved the world heavy weight championship
Have a guess ,how old were he at that time?
yes,in the wwe history,he is the youngest star to have this belt
,but soon, triple h,batista and ric flairhave betrayed him .then, he become bad and evil,even have a fan attacked him.
i think it's can Show randy to be a heel is very successul

语法哪里有不对的！！！
或者哪里有不恰当的，帮忙看看
写的短短短短短短短短短短！！！！！

全部分！！！！

Answer 1

which star is you favourite ? X
which star is your favour ? / which is you favourite star?

though he is a heel,but sometimes he is more poplaur than faces .
though和but不能共存，只能使用其中一个，就足以表示虽然。。。但是。。。

when he was young he have achieved the world heavy weight
have 改成 had

how old were he at that time?
were 改成 was

he become bad and evil,even have a fan attacked him.
he became bad and evil,even had a fan attacked him.

think it's can Show randy to be a heel is very successul
think it can show randy as a heel is very successul

语法大概就这样，至于内容感觉非常不通顺并且也没什么说服力，楼主还要整理一下。

Answer 2

写的还行 但是语法有几个小错误

倒数三段 became

倒数第二句改为 even attacked by a fan 因为你have的用法错了

最后一句 it can 多了个系动词

呵呵 很不错了

楼上说的也很对

Answer 3

when he was young he had achieved the world heavy weight championship
he became bad and evil,even had a fan attacked him.
主要是一些时态问题
how old was he at that time?