帮我修改一下作文,谢谢啦!
HopeHope,Ihope….Hopeishelplesswhenthehelpinghand.Ihope......Ihopetohaveahappyweek8,Iw...
Hope
Hope,I hope….
Hope is helpless when the helping hand. I hope ... ...
I hope to have a happy week 8, I want to have a week 8, and then happy ,free to the week 8. at the eighth day of the week, I can listen to music, play computer games , read novels; play games with pets,I can go skating and enjoy the feeling of flying I really hope to have a happy week 8.
I hope to have a pair of invisible wings. If I have a have a pair of invisible wings, I will fly to lost their family's children and give them warm. I really want to have a pair of invisible wings.
I hope I can do a good writer. I like to read novels. Use beautiful words and then organize them. How wonderful it is! I really want to do a good writer.
Hope ,I hope… 展开
Hope,I hope….
Hope is helpless when the helping hand. I hope ... ...
I hope to have a happy week 8, I want to have a week 8, and then happy ,free to the week 8. at the eighth day of the week, I can listen to music, play computer games , read novels; play games with pets,I can go skating and enjoy the feeling of flying I really hope to have a happy week 8.
I hope to have a pair of invisible wings. If I have a have a pair of invisible wings, I will fly to lost their family's children and give them warm. I really want to have a pair of invisible wings.
I hope I can do a good writer. I like to read novels. Use beautiful words and then organize them. How wonderful it is! I really want to do a good writer.
Hope ,I hope… 展开
2个回答
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1.废话太多了,英文作文不可以这么写的(中国老师改我不敢保证,外国老师绝对不会喜欢)
有何多重复的地方(我指意思相同相近,还有I hope太多,像结巴...),最好去掉~
2.词用得太简单,重复的太多,语言不够丰富和生动,多找点同义词或词组或其它表达方式去表达重复出现的词(如果同学你还小,老师要求不高,学的单词不多的话,也可以不用太勉强...)
3.有语法错误:
(1)第三行 句子成分残缺when从句缺少谓语
(2)逻辑错误“at the eighth day of the week...”一周只有7天,哪来的第八天?(是不你前面表达有问题?!难道你是想说你希望有8天?如果是那样的话,第四行第一句话的意思就错了,你说的是我想有个快乐的第八周)
(3)标点符号错误。太多了,你自己纠正吧~
(4)"lost their family's children..."应该改为:"the children who lost their families..."
(5)"I hope I can do a good writer..."应该改为:"I hope I can be a good writer..."
我只是大概看了下,应该还有错误,你自己认真再找找吧~
不知道你多大了,如果还小的话,就不要太在意我说的话,可能会显得比较刻薄....小的话这样也不算太差!加油!
有何多重复的地方(我指意思相同相近,还有I hope太多,像结巴...),最好去掉~
2.词用得太简单,重复的太多,语言不够丰富和生动,多找点同义词或词组或其它表达方式去表达重复出现的词(如果同学你还小,老师要求不高,学的单词不多的话,也可以不用太勉强...)
3.有语法错误:
(1)第三行 句子成分残缺when从句缺少谓语
(2)逻辑错误“at the eighth day of the week...”一周只有7天,哪来的第八天?(是不你前面表达有问题?!难道你是想说你希望有8天?如果是那样的话,第四行第一句话的意思就错了,你说的是我想有个快乐的第八周)
(3)标点符号错误。太多了,你自己纠正吧~
(4)"lost their family's children..."应该改为:"the children who lost their families..."
(5)"I hope I can do a good writer..."应该改为:"I hope I can be a good writer..."
我只是大概看了下,应该还有错误,你自己认真再找找吧~
不知道你多大了,如果还小的话,就不要太在意我说的话,可能会显得比较刻薄....小的话这样也不算太差!加油!
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