Question

帮忙润色改改一篇英语演讲稿

我是初三学生，周日要参加一个英语演讲比赛。我的演讲稿写得不够好，条理很乱，而且措辞不雅。我的老师都推荐我去找一篇来背。但我觉得还是应该靠自己，我不想用别人写的，但我的文章又不好。

请帮帮忙。帮我改一下这篇演讲稿。就帮我把语句改的更加连贯，最好加一些内容，使整篇文章更加饱满，语言也最好再优美些。

我的文章的主要意思是环城旅行。我走在街道上，看那些来来往往、忙忙碌碌的白领，我想也许以后我的生活也会是这样，终日忙碌.我的朋友刚好打电话来问我在哪，我说在市中心，这里好吵，我们长大了会变成那些整日忙碌的大人吗，她说也许吧……

接着我去了图书馆，借了一本有关法国的书。我梦想去法国学习设计。在薰衣草的海洋里作画。那是轻松，浪漫的生活。

我又来到一家小店，老板和他妻子最我很和蔼。也许我以后会和我的家人度过宁静温馨的生活。

最后，我还是回到了我居住的那个小镇。那是个烟尘弥漫而且偏远的地方，但却被一座树木丛生的青山庇护着。我抬头仰望天空，我明白不管我去哪里，我终将会回到这里。

这是我的文章。写得不太好。

I like travelling. Because I can meet so many people and visit so many beautiful places .
On a June day , I took the bus, I walking across the street. I saw some people walking so quickly that they can save a little time. Maybe I will be a person who be busy all day when I grow up .Suddenly my friend called me ,she asked where I was .I said I was in the centre of the city, how noisy there were, and then asked if we would be the people who are busy all day. She thought for a moment, said “Maybe.”
Then I went to the library and borrow some books. One of the kooks was about France. I have ever dreamed of going to France to learn about desigh in France. If I went to France, I would draw picture on the oceans oh the lavenders. It seems like a relaxing life, didn’t?
After leaving the library, I went to a small shop. The shop’s omner and his wife were very king to me .I thought I might spend my free time with my family when I grow up ,just like them. How peaceful the life were!
Finally, I returned to the town where I lived. When I was looking at the blue sky, I knew wherever I have gone, I will return there in the end.

如果写得好给50分追加分，我只有这些分，拜托了。

Answer 1

我看下来之后觉得你是想表现你对于未来生活的迷茫，而并不是环城旅行。如果环城旅行是你所想表达的东西的话，建议还是重新写一篇吧。不过还是帮你改改。
I like travelling，because I can meet many people and visit many beautiful places .
One day, I was walking in a street. I found that people were all walking fast as if they had little time left. Just as I was wondering why, my friend called me. She asked me where I was, I told her I was in the city center and how noisy it was, how busy people looked. I asked her whether we would be person like them, lives seemed tired and no endless of boring work. She thought for a while,"maybe..."
After that I went to the library, borrowing some books about France, it has been my dream to go there to learn about design, how I wish I could paint in the ocean of lavender. I like that romantic life.
I returned home at last. The village which I live in is a little remote, but she is hugged by green mountains, I love her.
I looked deeply into the sky, I know wherever I go, I will come back ,here is always my home. Whenever I feel tired ,I will seek consolation here.

Answer 2

你这个没有突出你的主题想法啊，就是一个流水账作文啊，你要突出你认为的东西，如果主题是环城旅行，第一段完全没必要，后面的和环城旅行也没有太大的关系~~~~~应该是先定环城旅行的主线，然后碰到了图书馆，描写图书馆的外貌，然后走到某个街道，描写整个街道，然后街道上有个小店，店老板对你很好，在然后如何回去的，~~~~~~演讲做一个描写性的作文来演讲貌似很别扭啊

Answer 3

我喜欢旅行,因为我可以见到许多人参观许多美丽的地方。
有一天,我走在大街上。我发现很多人都走快就像时间所剩无几。正如我不知道为什么,我的朋友打电话给我。她问我我在哪里,我告诉她,我就在市中心,它是多么吵,忙碌的人们观看。我问她是否会喜欢它们,生活的人似乎累了,没有没完没了的无聊的工作。她想了一会儿,“也许……”
从那以后,我去图书馆借一些书,关于法国,这一直是我的梦想,去那里学到的设计,我多么希望我能画海洋中的紫色。我喜欢浪漫的生活。
我回到了家中。我所居住的村庄是一个小偏远的行列,但她是抱着绿色的山,我爱她。
我就观看,见有深入的天空,我知道无论我走到哪里,我将回来,这一直是我的家。每当我感到累了,你的面我正要寻求安慰。

2楼改得好

Answer 4

嗯···主题不够明确。如果主要意思是环城旅行的话，那么主题最好为游记。如果是说孤独的话，主题最好悲伤一些，路上遇见的景色也黯淡一些。如果主题是说不管哪里都只有家最好的话，最好多多进行对比。所以主要还是主题确定。请楼主最好再附加一下大致的主题，这样我们才能帮忙啊～