Question

一段短文帮忙看下谢谢，文法和用词不当请挑出来

Keep a Dog
Thesis statement: keeping a dog is a good thing for urbanite because dog can eat, dog can bark, and dog can run.
1st topic: dog can eat
Most families always cook food more than they can finish; however, if you have a dog, it will help you to eat up the remains. Usually, people wouldn’t throw out the remaining foods right away, but just dumped them in a garbage bag. And these remains will be spoiled soon, especially in summer. However, in my family, we never worry about it because of Snow, my lovely dog. She always solves those remains as soon as possible. We used to separate some food for her after we cooked our meal; but I found that Snow had a so good appetite, that she never felt full. And even when we ate fish, Snow came to ask me the fish’s bones, after she finished hers. It was not abusing my pet; in fact, Snow likes to eat bones more than meat.
2nd topic: dog can bark
According to the data, the amount of crime in urban area is increasing in recent years; and a dog can help to protect its master because it will bark and bite when a bad person tries to hurt its master. For example, last summer, a thief climbed on the window of my uncle’s house. Unfortunately, Uncle Lin wasn’t at home that night, and only Aunt Lin was watching TV at the other room. Suddenly, Black started barking. Black is a very sensitive and brave dog, it just rushed into the room which thief tried to slide in. However, the thief felt anxious and fearful when he heard Black’s barking; and then he just ran away. Black became our whole family’s hero from then on. I think it is a good thing that keeping a dog, especially for single ladies.
3rd topic: dog can run
When people keep dogs, people should walk their dogs at least one time every day; and walking your dog is a smart way to do exercise. Nowadays, high stress makes people more tired and lazier than before, so doing exercise has become a hard work to everyone. But if you have a dog, it will help you do sports often. Most dogs like to play the catch ball game with their masters in a local park; some of them even like to run behind a car. Masters can do exercises when they walk their dogs, such as throwing balls, running, or just walking around the local park; even though they don’t willing to do these sports. So, walking your dog is a good method that will kill two birds with one stone.

Answer 1

Usually, people don't throw out the remaining foods right away, but just dump them in a rubbish pocket.这句改成一般式。

We used to save some food for her after we cooked our meal;
separate改成save

And even when we ate fish, Snow came to ask me the fishbones after she finished hers. 鱼骨是fishbone，after前没有逗号

Uncle Lin wasn’t at home that night, and only Aunt Lin was watching TV at another room. the other改成another

Black was a very sensitive and brave dog. 应是过去式

I think it is a good thing that keeping a dog此类句子改成I consider it an excellent thing to keep a dog.

even though they are willing to do these sports. BE willing to do

令建议把good thing改成excellent thing，不要高频率地使用一个单词，如when可以用the moment,the instant,during the time when等，so可以换成thus, hence, therefore, as the result等等，but可换成instead，on the other hand,contrary to,like可换成adore,feel like,be crazy about, be mad about,love等等。可以去网上找一下。

最后你的文章应该做一个小节。