Question

英语幽默故事

求英语幽默故事的种类、特点等。

大家帮帮忙啦 作业不完成老师不会放过我啦

求求啦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer 1

一个美丽的上午，天空晴朗无比，可是一个农夫醉熏熏地坐在门口，失魂落魄地。
一个过路人好奇地上前问道：老乡，今天天气这么好，你怎么不去享受，反而在这里喝闷酒啊。
农夫回答：哎，一些事情，你永远无法解释。
过路人：发生什么不幸了？
农夫：今天我在挤牛奶，刚好挤了一捅，奶牛用左脚把桶踢翻。
过路人：是挺倒霉的，但是还不至于啊。
农夫：哎，一些事情，你永远无法解释。
过路人：那接着呢？
农夫：我用绳子把她左腿绑在了柱子上接着挤，结果刚好一桶接满，她又用右腿把桶踢翻了。
过路人哈哈大笑又问到：然后呢？
农夫：哎，一些事情，你永远无法解释。
我把她右腿绑到了另外一根柱子上了，结果刚好接满一桶，她又用尾巴把桶扫倒了。
过路人：是够倒霉的。算了，不要难过了。
农夫：哎，一些事情，你永远无法解释。
过路人：还有什么？！
农夫：这回我没绳子了，就计划用皮带把她尾巴绑到柱子上。我把皮带抽出来，把她尾巴抓起来。
这时，我的裤子掉了，正巧我女朋友进来了……

Answer 2

Peter
dozed
off
while
his
teacher
was
talking.
老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。
Teacher:
Peter！Tell
us,
what's
the
biggest
in
the
world?
老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？
Peter:
Well,
well....eyelids....
彼得:
嗯……嗯……眼皮……
Teacher:
What？Eyelids？
老师：什么？眼皮？
Peter:
Yes,
sir.
Because
as
soon
as
I
shut
my
eyes,
the
eyelids
cover
everything
of
the
world.
彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了
Late
one
night
at
the
insane
asylum
(疯人院）one
inmate
shouted,
"I
am
Napoleon!"
Another
one
said,
"How
do
you
know?"
The
first
inmate
said,
"God
told
me!"
Just
then,
a
voice
from
another
room
shouted,
"I
did
not!"
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"

Answer 3

Delicious！

A Hollywood producer was determined to give his mothera birthday gift that would be better than any his brothers weregiving her． He heard about an amazing bird which could talk intwelve languages and sing ten famous operas． He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother． It cost him＄50，000．

The day after her birthday，he phoned his mother．“What did you think of the bird， Mother？” he asked eagerly．His mother replied，“Delcious！”

说的是一个人花了很多钱买了一只鸟，送给他妈妈，过了一时间儿子问他鸟怎么样，他妈妈说“很美味！”
呵呵~~
字数不够自己加点啦

Answer 4

My
grandad
said,'When
you
get
old,three
things
start
to
go
wrong.First,
you
start
to
lose
your
memory.And
I
can't
remember
the
other
two
things.'
翻译:我爷爷说:"当你老了后,有三样东西开始出错.首先,你开始失去记忆.还有,我忘了另外两件事了."