Question

Nowadays, with the development of technology, more and more students go to school with cell phon

Nowadays, with the development of technology, more and more students go to school with cell phone. As a student, I think it is convenient for everyone to use the cell phone.
As far as I am concerned, the cell phone could help us to get lots of resources. For example, we can use the cell phone to surf the Internet, learning by watching the online course. Also, we could realize more things about the world. However, in the school, we could learn how to get alone with others. School education is that we become in independent. What is more, if we use the phone to study, we will concentrate more on our cell phone and reduce communication with others.
In a word, we should use the cell phone in a proper way. We can use it to study but the phone can not replace the school education.想修改的更好

Answer 1

第一点--部分句子有语法错误
For example, we can use the cell phone to surf the internet and learn new knowledge by watching the online course.
【Also, we could realize more things about the world.】我想你这句话想表达的意思是--通过手机，我们可以随时随地了解世界的动态。我懂你的意思但是你这句话的表达方式不对--可改为
In addition, the cell phone broaden our awareness and horizon(手机可以开拓我们的眼界). It allows us to know what is happening on each countries and the newest scientific invention.
从however开始到with others建议你全部重改。
--原因有二：语法漏洞百出和表达的观点模糊不清

第二点--观点不明确！--你的第一自然段所陈述的总观点与之后的不相符。
建议想清楚自己的总观点后再写文章。

Answer 2

当今，随着技术的发展进步，越来越多的学生带着手机上学，作为学生，我认为使用手机大家都方便。
就我而言，手机可以帮助我们获取海量资源。例如，我们可以用手机上网，通过观看在线课程学习，而且，对世界了解更多。然而，在学校我们只能学会如何与人相处。学校教育是要我们自理，更重要的是如果我们使用手机学习，我们的注意力会更多地在手机上相应地减少与人交流。
总之，我们应当以恰当的方式使用手机，我们可以使用手机学习，但手机不可以代替学校教育。
Nowadays, with the development of technology, more and more students go to school with their cell phones. And as a student, I think it is convenient for everyone to use a cell phone.
As far as I am concerned, the cell phone can help us to get lots of resources. For example, we can use the cell phone to surf the Internet, learning by watching the online courses. Also, we can know more about the world. However, in the school, we can only learn how to get alone well with others. School education makes us independent. What is more, if we use the phone to study, we will concentrate so much on our cell phones that eventally we will reduce communication with others.
In a word, we should use cell phones in a proper way. We can use it to study, but phones can not replace school education.