Question

[初三英语]自己写的作文，求英语好的帮我看看这篇作文有什么问题，有什么需要改进的

[初三英语]自己写的作文，求英语好的帮我看看这篇作文有什么问题，有什么需要改进的Nowadays ,many people live without sport so that harmful of their health. In my opinion, sport is very important. do some sports can make you more and more healthy ,stronger and stronger .if you can keep it up，so you needn't worry about your health problems because you will have a good body.

I often run in the park because I enjoy it very much. one day, I ran more than six kilometres. I felt very tried but I was happy too because I realized my leg was stronger and stronger.I was tired but I felt comfortable.

From this we can see that stick exercise is very important, so I love sport so much and I'm planning to be a winter Olympics volunteer. let's do some sports!

Answer 1

以下个人观点：

1. Nowadays ,many people live without sport so that harmful of their health.可以在harmful前加it's.

2. do some sports can make you more and more healthy ,stronger and stronger .Do要大写，而且最好改成Doing（动名词作主语，动词原形作主语的句子为祈使句在此不适合.），more and more 前面可以加become.两个越来越（more and more, stronger and stronger）建议将其中一个改为原级.（Doing some sports can make you become more and more healthy and strong.）

3. if you can keep it up，so you needn't worry about your health problems because you will have a good body.（句子大写自己注意不多说）建议删去so，因为上下句好像没有因果关系.

4. I often run in the park because I enjoy it very much.建议加一句for the other hand, it can build me up as well.（从另一方面来说，它也能增强我的体质）。

5. I ran more than six kilometres. more than可以改成over,然后在over前加for（I ran for over six kilometers.）

6. I felt very tried but I was happy too because I realized my leg was stronger and stronger.建议改成I felt pretty tired but I was glad to finish such a great work, and I also felt my legs which were more and more powerful.

7. I was tired but I felt comfortable.可改为I was extremely tired but I felt comfortable.

8. 上句后可加这么一句：I kept running for a long time, after that I found my body was healthier than before surprisingly. At that time, I realized the importance of exercising. It makes me keep doing exercise until now.
   

9. stick sport 什么表达法。。。

10. so I love sport so much and I'm planning to be a winter Olympics volunteer.这句建议删掉

11. 结尾最后加一句：In short, how healthy you are depends on how much exercise you do, so let's do more exercise!

    以上是句子方面，下面是排版方面：

    1.In my opinion直到第一段结束的内容可作为新一段

    2.其他你去想吧我想不出来了。。。

    最后一点，能不能发个作文题目。。。

追问

我还没来得及看完。。等我消化完了先，作文题目没有，这是考试的作文，他是要求 1说明运动的重要性，必要性 2说说自己实际上的一些运动和感受 3呼吁大家多运动，并说明自己为呼吁大家运动的行动

Answer 2

Nowadays ,many people live without sport so it's harm to their health. In my opinion, sport is very important. do some sports can make you healthier and stronger .If you keep it up， you will have a good body.

I often run in the park because I enjoy it very much. One day, I ran more than six kilometres. I felt very tried but I was happy because I realized my leg was stronger and stronger.I was tired but I felt comfortable.

From this we can see that keep exercising is very important, so I love sport so much and I'm planning to be a winter Olympics volunteer. let's do some sports!
希望对你有帮助，祝你好运，英语写作越来越好。