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明天就考试了，心里没底，求高人评一下大概有几分Moderntechnologyhasmadeitpossibleforpeopletoviewexhibitionsath...
明天就考试了，心里没底，求高人评一下大概有几分
Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home so museums and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, increasingly numbers of virtual exhibitions are available to people on the internet. The phenomenon makes some people think that museums and art galleries in reality will soon become obsolete.
Undoubtedly, virtual museums have many advantages that overshadow museums in reality. For one thing, visitors of virtual exhibitions do not need to get out of home, which is of great convenience; for another, viewing exhibitions online means that they can get access to exposition whenever they want, and usually free of charge. Besides, people can see all the details of the exhibits and will not be warned not to get tool close to them.
However, the museums and art galleries in reality do have reasons to exist. First of all, though in most cases, not allowed to touch the exhibits, visitors enjoy the first-hand experience more than the second hand experience gotten from the internet. Furthermore, the images online could not be exactly the same as those in reality. On the top of it, the existence of museums makes it possible for the human race to preserve their invaluable cultural heritages.
To conclude, there is no denying that virtual exhibitions have many merits, but museums in reality also have their own edges. I am convinced that modern technology will not render museums obsolete. Instead, museums and art galleries will be more attractive and visitor-friendly if moden technology is applied to them.
第一段的确是有问题，改：Increasingly，virtual exhibitions are available for people on the internet. The phenomenon makes some people think that museums and art galleries in reality will soon become obsolete. 展开
Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home so museums and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, increasingly numbers of virtual exhibitions are available to people on the internet. The phenomenon makes some people think that museums and art galleries in reality will soon become obsolete.
Undoubtedly, virtual museums have many advantages that overshadow museums in reality. For one thing, visitors of virtual exhibitions do not need to get out of home, which is of great convenience; for another, viewing exhibitions online means that they can get access to exposition whenever they want, and usually free of charge. Besides, people can see all the details of the exhibits and will not be warned not to get tool close to them.
However, the museums and art galleries in reality do have reasons to exist. First of all, though in most cases, not allowed to touch the exhibits, visitors enjoy the first-hand experience more than the second hand experience gotten from the internet. Furthermore, the images online could not be exactly the same as those in reality. On the top of it, the existence of museums makes it possible for the human race to preserve their invaluable cultural heritages.
To conclude, there is no denying that virtual exhibitions have many merits, but museums in reality also have their own edges. I am convinced that modern technology will not render museums obsolete. Instead, museums and art galleries will be more attractive and visitor-friendly if moden technology is applied to them.
第一段的确是有问题，改：Increasingly，virtual exhibitions are available for people on the internet. The phenomenon makes some people think that museums and art galleries in reality will soon become obsolete. 展开
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同为烤鸭，交流一下经验：
increasingly numbers of virtual exhibitions are available to people ，这句怎么看都不怎么通顺increasingly numbers ...;available to people ...好像有问题。
其他大致浏览了一下，没发现太大的错误，结构也清晰，就是词汇亮点不是太多哦~感觉不是很出彩。但是很稳当。明天加油加油！
increasingly numbers of virtual exhibitions are available to people ，这句怎么看都不怎么通顺increasingly numbers ...;available to people ...好像有问题。
其他大致浏览了一下，没发现太大的错误，结构也清晰，就是词汇亮点不是太多哦~感觉不是很出彩。但是很稳当。明天加油加油！
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