Question

英语高手请进！！

有请各路高手帮忙改改下面这篇英语新闻，看看有没语法错误，谢谢！
“According to the British "Daily Mail" reported that experts at University College London study found that boredom can lead people to short-lived. The researchers pointed out that the people who complain about boring are more likely to die young, these people heart attacks and strokes among those who mostly. After a number of civil servants in 7000 after 25 years in the survey, experts discovered that among them the risk of death because of boredom more than 37% higher than those who are not bored. In this regard, scientists believe that when people, when bored, it is easy to develop bad habits such as smoking, drinking, leading to reduced life expectancy. So, how to avoid the boredom does? First of all, to develop their own interests, take part in more outdoor activities, to reduce or quit smoking or drinking bad habits. Yourself to relax and free, so you will not be easily bored, the body will be more and more healthy.”

Answer 1

1. 去掉According to
2. University College London 是什么机构？有University 就不用College了吧？
3.young, 逗号改成句号
4.these people heart attacks and strokes among those who mostly.改成
these people are at the greatest risk of heart attacks and strokes.
5.In this regard 改成 consequently
6. scientists believe that when people, when bored, it is easy to develop bad habits such as smoking, drinking, leading to reduced life expectancy. 改成scientists believe that it is easy for people to develop bad habits such as smoking, drinking, leading to reduced life expectancy when they are boring.
7. First of all, to develop改成 First of all, remember to develop
8. to relax and free, so you will not be easily bored,改成if you are relaxed and free, you will not be easily bored. therefore ,the body will be more and more healthy.

你是用软件翻译的吧？语法太多错误了