愚人节笑话分享「精编版」
导语： 一座桥用两根木头搭成，一根高，一根低。有个拐子过桥，高的那根木头正好凑合着他的短腿，因此走起来平稳，就称赞说：“天底 下就数这座桥造得最好。”下面是我整理的2017年愚人节笑话，欢迎阅读。
愚人节经典版笑话
不用了，家里人知道我的名字
医生对护士说：“你去问那位受伤的太太的名字，好通知她家里。”
护士一会儿回来后说：“病人说：‘不用了，家里人知道我的名字。，”
快点儿走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛
有个男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人见了觉得奇怪，问他道：
“雨下得这么大，你怎么不快点走?”
他从从容容地答道：“快点儿走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛!”
找钱
有一天，一个人在沙漠里挖坑。有个过路的人见了，问他挖什么，他说：“我在沙漠里埋了一些钱，现在找不到埋的地方了。” 那人说：“你埋钱的`时候应当做个标记呀!”
“我做了标记。”
“什么标记?”
他说：“当时天上的乌云正遮着它。”
大吃一惊
护士：“喂，您是教授吗?告诉您一个好消息，您做爸爸啦!——就在刚才!”
教授：“噢，请您先不要告诉我妻子，我要让她大吃一惊!”
多纳尔母亲的来信 我还想给你写，可惜我已经把信封了
亲爱的多纳尔：
寥寥数言，让你知道我还活着。深知你读得不快，所以我也慢慢地写。你回来的时候将找不到我们的房子了，因为我们已经搬了家。先前住在这里的那户人家，不想改变他们的地址，把门牌拿走了。因此，我无法把家里现在的门牌告诉你。
你父亲找到了有趣的新工作，他下面有500多人——他在公墓割草。
今天早晨，你的姐姐生了一个可爱的婴孩，是男是女我还没弄清楚，因而，你究竟当了舅父还是当了姨父我也说不清。
昨天，你爸爸陪我上医院去看病。医生把一根小管子放进我的嘴里检查体温，还叫我10分钟不要开口。你爸爸说：要是医生肯卖，他愿意出10镑钱把那根管子买下来。
上星期总共下了两场雨，第一场下了三天，第二场下了四天。
你的慈母
附言：我还想给你写，可惜我已经把信封了。
那你叫她不要等了
绅士初次到伦敦，对警察说：“我和妻子各自走失了，要是她经过这里，你可叫她等在这里吗!”
警察：“可是我不认识她呀!”
绅士：“呀!一点不错!我真没有想到这事，那你叫她不要等了。”
幸亏它帮忙
有个男人上街买了一担米，一头重，一头轻，不好挑。他抓抓头皮想出了一个办法，在轻的一边放上一块大石头。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家，放下担子，长长嘘了一口气道：“今天幸亏有这块石头， 不然简直没办法挑回来!”
“不识数”的播音员
电视里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球赛，引起了老奶奶的极大兴趣。
看完后她啧啧称赞：“球打得好，球打得好!可惜偏偏找了个不识数的播音员!”
小孙孙听了不解地问：“人家咋不识数?”
老奶奶说：“明明是两个人在打球，他偏说是单打。明明是四个人在打球，他却硬说是双打。他少数了一半，这不是不识数是啥?”
最好与最糟
一座桥用两根木头搭成，一根高，一根低。有个拐子过桥，高的那根木头正好凑合着他的短腿，因此走起来平稳，就称赞说：“天底 下就数这座桥造得最好。”
千万别穿带鞋带的鞋出门
记得那年的四月一日 ，我走在上学的路上，看家前面的哥们鞋带开了，就提醒他。结果他说你别骗我了，今天愚人节。 这不是亮点。。。。亮点是。他才刚说完，就踩着鞋带，摔了个狗吃屎。。。
就这么任性，愚人节过生日
我问老妈：真倒霉，为什么我的生日是愚人节，老是有人拿这个调侃我。
老妈说：因为我的生日是妇女节，从小就被人取笑，所以我当时就下定决心找个人转移一下大家的注意力。
本来你的预产期是四月末，后来特意把你从四月一号剖腹产生出来了。。
求求你相信我啊，我真的愚人节生日
看到一高中同学写的朋友圈，我笑了半天。内容是：你们还是人吗?老子愚人节生日怎么了?!你们不信就不信吧!还非要要晚上帮我庆祝!老子特么订了2大桌好菜，一个人看了一晚上!
看看谁吓谁
有一次愚人节戴上面具去街上逛悠，突然看见前面有个朋友，我想吓吓他，就拍拍他的肩膀，结果转过来的却是一张空白的脸皮，我当场就被吓坏了，怕的赶紧跑回家了结果第二天听另一个朋友嘲笑我说她只是戴着面具，天，聪明反被聪明误啊囧死了!
愚人节英语版笑话
1.-What the day is it today?
-Today is April fools'day.
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
2.Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
3.A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
4.Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
5.A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
6.At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
7.A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
8.A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "
