Question

请高手帮忙改一下托福作文，谢谢。

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The twentieth century has encountered numerous revolutionary changes which altered almost every aspects of our dailylife dramatically. Among the vast changes,the easier preparing of food transformed our life in a progressive way. Time saving,more options and more nutrition are three main improvements.

It can not be doubted that more time, once was occupied with cooking, was set aside to other priorities, thus making our schedule more efficient. With the absence of fastfood, I am unable to lie in when I still felt sleepy in the morning of working day since I should get up early to prepare the breakfast myself. What is more, I can maintain the leading position in the keen studying competition by extending my study time which was saved by eating the snack.

Food preperation today also allows for more variety. With the invention of the refrigerators, we can preserve more various of food materials in a longer time.Additionally, it is common that more distinctive flavors of dishes can be prepared from one original materials when the new cooking utensils was widely used. Thanks to this, people are willing to make more dishes for even in a small meal.Not only adults with different eating habits but also the picky children are more probable to have a pleasing dinner.

Furthermore,a more nourishing way of food preparing is one key improvement among the many advantages. When my father was young，the materials used for food preparing can only be some vegetables and meat which was planted in the nearby areas or cultivated by the neighbor. In contrast, more and more alible materials, guaranteed by the longer preserve time, can be transformed in a distant way nowadays. Plus, a shorter process of making dishes allows more types of food to be prepared in one table thus give me a full range of nutrion which need to be complemented.

Cooking nowadays was much better than yesteryears. People would concentrate to their career and have more choices to get a better nourishing food at the same time. This were never exist before in history.

开始写作文不久，对于这个的好坏还是没有多大的概念，麻烦各位高手帮帮忙，最好打个分哈，谢谢。

Answer 1

写得很不错，应该能打24分以上。句式变换很好，只是有些词语用得不是很准确，但是不难看出，你的实力很不错，观点也很到位，论证也很好。但是，有些话有点多余。
对于单词，你似乎在凑那些大词，有时候，这些词用多了，就有点多余，而且不恰当。相信也不用我改，你自己也能发现，我只是给一下意见。
然后，结尾有点仓促，比如说Cooking nowadays was much better than yesteryears. 有点和你前面的风格不搭调，有点太格式化了。
就说这么多吧，托福作文还得多背，多模仿，多写。加油吧。