初中生英语演讲稿3分钟带幽默性的，急 10
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Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
反正我太太明天会来换的
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference, "replied customer.
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any," he responded.
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."
反正我太太明天会来换的。
一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢？”
“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
Good News and Bad News
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布： “士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”
“好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”
“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”
最恶心的地毯
A Florida couple have been ordered to take up a carpet - from their front garden.
Steve and Mildred Nadwairski say they covered their lawn with carpet because they had had no luck with grass seed. They could not afford to spend￡160 on turf so decided to put carpet on the lawn of their Port Richey Home. Mr Nadwairski said he didn't think it was written anywhere that you couldn't have carpet on your front lawn. But the couple fell foul of a byelaw forbidding the collection of "public nuisance items" such as junk cars and appliances. A prosecutor argued that included old carpet and a court agreed.
Neighbours seemed pleased with the ruling. One says the carpeting, which is wet all the time, looks "nasty."
佛罗里达州波特里奇市一对夫妇在他们屋前的花园铺上地毯，把草坪盖住，因为他们觉得草籽会坏了他们的好运气，同时，他们说付不起打理草坪所需的160英镑。
当地法院命令这对夫妇把地毯移走。男主人为此争辩道，没有条文明令禁止在自家草坪上铺地毯，而检举人称，那张地毯太破旧了，就像破车等破烂玩意儿，给公众造成了困扰，违反了“公共损害条例”。邻居们对法院的判决都拍手称庆，说那张地毯整天都湿漉漉的，看起来“恶心死了”。
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
反正我太太明天会来换的
My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference, "replied customer.
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any," he responded.
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."
反正我太太明天会来换的。
一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢？”
“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
Good News and Bad News
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布： “士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”
“好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”
“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”
最恶心的地毯
A Florida couple have been ordered to take up a carpet - from their front garden.
Steve and Mildred Nadwairski say they covered their lawn with carpet because they had had no luck with grass seed. They could not afford to spend￡160 on turf so decided to put carpet on the lawn of their Port Richey Home. Mr Nadwairski said he didn't think it was written anywhere that you couldn't have carpet on your front lawn. But the couple fell foul of a byelaw forbidding the collection of "public nuisance items" such as junk cars and appliances. A prosecutor argued that included old carpet and a court agreed.
Neighbours seemed pleased with the ruling. One says the carpeting, which is wet all the time, looks "nasty."
佛罗里达州波特里奇市一对夫妇在他们屋前的花园铺上地毯，把草坪盖住，因为他们觉得草籽会坏了他们的好运气，同时，他们说付不起打理草坪所需的160英镑。
当地法院命令这对夫妇把地毯移走。男主人为此争辩道，没有条文明令禁止在自家草坪上铺地毯，而检举人称，那张地毯太破旧了，就像破车等破烂玩意儿，给公众造成了困扰，违反了“公共损害条例”。邻居们对法院的判决都拍手称庆，说那张地毯整天都湿漉漉的，看起来“恶心死了”。
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