Question

初一年级英语小笑话

难易程度差不多就行
要好笑一点的,最好是外国版的幽默

Answer 1

　　1.When Was Rome Built? 罗马是什么时候建成的？

　　Teacher: When was Rome built?
　　Tom: At night.
　　Teacher: Who told you that?
　　Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

　　老师：罗马是什么时候建成的？
　　汤姆：在夜里建成的。
　　老师：谁告诉你的？
　　汤姆：是您啊。您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的。

　　2.He Knows the Answer 他知道答案

　　Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
　　Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

　　教师：你能告诉我一些有关十八世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？
　　学生：我能，先生。他们都死了。

　　3.Where do babies come from? 小孩从哪里来？

　　I asked my father where babies come from.
　　He says you download them from the Internet.

　　我问爸爸小孩是从哪里来的，他说是从网上下载的。

　　4.An Essential Correction 实质性的纠正

　　Teacher: Walter, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
　　Walter: What was it?
　　Teacher: Eggs.
　　Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

　　老 师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。
　　沃尔特：我吃了什么？
　　老 师：鸡蛋。
　　沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。

　　5. I Don’t Feel Like Getting into an Argument 我不想争论

　　“Gerald,” asked the teacher, “what is the shape of the earth?”
　　“It's round,” answered Gerald.
　　“How do you know it's round?” continued the teacher.
　　“All right, it’s square then,” he replied, “ I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!”
　　“杰拉尔德，”老师说，“地球是什么形状的？”
　　“是圆形的，”杰拉尔德回答。
　　“你怎么知道是圆的？”老师继续问。
　　“好，那就是方的吧，”他回答说。“我真的不想和您争论这件事！”

　　6.Three Reasons 三个理由

　　Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
　　Bob: Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!

　　老师：鲍勃，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。
　　鲍勃：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，您也是这么说的！

　　7.Who Should be Given the Present? 礼物该给谁？

　　A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked
　　which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient,
　　never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he
　　inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it,
　　Daddy!”

　　一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么？”他问道。
　　大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩儿吧。”

　　8.Big Head 大脑袋

　　“All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. “They say I
　　have a big head.”
　　“Don't listen to them,” his mother consoled. “You have a beautiful
　　head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.”
　　“Where's the shopping bag?”
　　“I haven't got one, use your hat.”

　　“所有的孩子都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
　　“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了,
　　去到店里买10磅土豆来。”
　　“兜子在哪儿呢？” “我没有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。”

Answer 2

笑话一：Is he dying?他要死了吗？
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

笑话二：It's not my fault 不是我的错
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。

【扩展延伸】
了解英语笑话的要点：
1.可以多了解英国民俗民风等，了解他们的语言环境；
2.可以结合自身理解，身临其境；
3.词汇量很重要，词汇的多种翻译也很重要。
4.可以试着把中国一些小笑话翻译成英语。

Answer 3

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

Answer 4

1.He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。

2.my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

3.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."