简单易懂的英语笑话
简单易懂的英语笑话
笑话是一个汉语词汇，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。以下是我帮大家整理的简单易懂的英语笑话，希望对大家有所帮助。
1、Who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
一个老师问她的学生：“谁是世界上第一个男人”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一个小男孩立刻大声说：“乔治.华盛顿。”
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生：“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
这个男孩子说：“因为，他是第一个挑起战争，第一个主张和平，并且是第一个深得民心的'人。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
这时，有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来，老师问他，“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答说：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿，因为历史书上说，乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了，所以在他之前，当然还有一个男的啦。”
2、Always Thirsty 总感到口渴
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗?”
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
3、 if I Am a Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
如果我是一个经理
一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。
4、Quick Cleanup 快速清扫
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
5、 young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。
到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，“有事儿嘛?”那个人回答，“我是来给你安装电话的。”
6、Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
Teacher: Please tell us.
老师：请说说看。
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
7、三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
8、又要结婚了
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”
9、Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
10、Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received onefromanother officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
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