Question

高分求以英语高手翻译一篇故事.......急~~！！！！3小时

求翻译~~~~速度.....时限3小时

有一天他们在逛街的时候遇到了上帝！他们对上帝说，他们都死得很惨，希望让他们上天堂！上帝很无奈地说，现在天堂的住户太多，已经爆满。但现在还有一个名额！你们说吧，看谁死得最惨，就让谁上天堂！
于是，第一个鬼开始说了……我生前是一个清洁工。工作很辛苦的！从早忙到晚！有一天，我正在一栋大厦外面擦玻璃！是那种吊在外面的高空危险工作！在第30多楼！突然，我脚一滑，失足掉下去了！我想，完了！要死了！但求生本能让我在无意识地乱抓！很幸运地，我抓住了一个阳台的栏杆，在13楼。我想，有救了！于是想等缓过劲后爬上去！
哪知，突然有人把我的手一揎，我又掉下去了！我想，这下我真的完了！但是，我命不该决，底下有一个帐篷接住了我，我庆幸前世肯定积了德！想等缓过劲就下去。谁知，上面掉下来一个冰箱，把我砸死了！
第二个鬼说……我生前是一个文员。什么都还好，我有一个老婆，很漂亮。身材很棒！但就是有点水性扬花。我有轻微的心脏病。有一天上班忘了带药，我回家去拿。一进门，看见老婆头发散乱、衣衫不整。肯定有奸夫。于是我满屋找，厨房也找，厕所也找，都没找到。到了阳台，我发现有两只手扒在栏杆上，我想：奸夫！于是把他的手一揎。心想，13楼！看摔不死你！
结果等我一看，居然没死！被帐篷接住了！我着急，于是满屋找，进了厨房，发现冰箱够大，于是把冰箱扔下去。终于把他砸死了！我当时太高兴了！大笑不止。谁知笑得心肌埂塞，笑死了！
第三个鬼说……我生前是个小混混，但我没做过什么坏事！有一天我到一个女性朋友家里晃！刚刚办完事，她老公突然回了！我得找地方藏起来。于是厨房也找，厕所也找，最后发现他们家冰箱挺大的，于是我就躲进冰箱里去了！我就不明白，她老公怎么知道我在冰箱里，他居然把冰箱从13楼给扔下去了！
我就这样连人带冰箱摔死了！
不用全部翻译- -大概故事情节翻译出来就行......先谢谢了

快的加分啊~~~~

直接google翻译的想不劳而获的就别答了，不可能给分的

Answer 1

One day, they met God when they are shopping. They told God that they were all miserable and they hoped to go to heaven. However, God said "Heaven is full now except for only one space.I will let the most miserable one of you go to heaven."
Then, one ghost started talking... I was a cleaner when I was alive. My job was very hard, form morning till evening. One day, when I was cleaning the glasses of a building,you know, that was a very dangerous job.I was on the 30th floor. Suddenly, I slipped and fell down. I believed I would die. But my instinct drove me to paw about around.Luckily, I caught the handrail of a balcony. It was on the 13th floor. I thought delightedly that I was saved from death.I wanted to have a rest and crimb up.
Suddenly, someone pushed my hands and I fell down again. I thought I must die this time. However,a tent below caught me！I thought I must accumulated virtues before! Unexpectively, an refrigerator fell down and I was squashed.
好长啊，刚把第一个鬼的翻译完，你先看看吧，剩下的一会再接着给你翻译

The second ghost began speaking..I was a clerk when I was alive. Everything was going well. I had a beautiful wife. But she was a wanton. I was suffering a heart disease.One day, I left my drug home and went back to take it. At the time I came in the door, I found that my wife was skanky. I believed some man was in my home.The I searched the whole house, including the kitchen and toilet. But I didn't find anything. When I went to the balcony, I found two hands which caught the handrail of the balcony.I believed he was that man. Then I pushed his hands and was thinking he must be killed because my home is on the 13th floor.
However, I found he was still alive because he was caught by a tent! I went mad. I searched the whole house again and found the refrigerator was enough big. So I threw the refrigerator down and killed him. I was so excited at that time and laughed loudly.Unfortunately, I had a heart attack and then died.
下面是第三个鬼的话。。
The third ghost said..I was a deviant when I was alive.But I didn't do any bad thing.One day, I went to a lady friend's home.Unexpectively, her husband came back.I had to find somewhere to hide myself. Finally,I hid myself in the refrigerator. I was puzzeled why her husband could know I was in the refrigerator. He threw the refrigerator from the 13th floor!
Then, I died in this manner.
总算弄完了，不知道准不准确，希望能对你有帮助！

Answer 2

为何不早点说，
One day they are shopping when i met with god. they said to god, they all died a sad, i wish to heaven! god'm trying to say, it's too many homes, is fully booked. but now there is a place! you said, look who is dead, who is the heaven!
Then, first a ghost and began to say... that... i died as a dustman. work hard. busy as a bee from morning till night. one day, i was in a building outside the glass! that is hanging out in the height of the dangerous work. on the 30th floor. suddenly, i slipped and slipped and fell down. i think, was up! to survive. but this can i get to the unconsciously clawing. fortunately, i caught a terrace rail, in the 13th floor. i think, will be saved!And wanted to lump it! after
But, suddenly someone And put his hand, i dropped off again! i think that i am really up! but my life that, under the tent to meet me, i am glad that could be sure! to wait for the virtues of this effort. instead, it fell out of a refrigerator, i killed!
The second, that... that... i died as a clerk. everything's ok, i have one wife, and beautiful. a very good! but it is a little easy virtue. i have a heart attack. one day at work, i forgot to bring home to get. through the door and saw his hair is wild, slipshod. there must be a spy. my room looking for, the kitchen, toilets has not found. the balcony, i found two hands in the railings, i'd like a husband!And put his hand. i thought, and a 13 floor! could you die!
Three ghosts that... that... i had to be a bum, but i had done nothing wrong! one day i went to a friend's house and women! just came back, her husband suddenly. i must find a place to hide. so the kitchen, toilets for find and finally found their home a big, so i'll get into the refrigerator. i don't know her husband, how do you know i was in the refrigerator the refrigerator, he threw down the stairs from 13 to go!
I thus man and a fall and die!

问一下，你这个文章是干什么的？ 故事很有趣

Answer 3

Shopping one day when they met God! They said to God, they died a sad death, I hope they go to heaven! God is with frustration that too many households in heaven now, were full. But now there is a quota! You speak, see who die the most miserable, let who go to heaven!
Thus, the first ghost began a lifetime ... ... I was a cleaner. Work very hard! From morning till night! One day, I was a building outside of Cabo! Is the kind of hanging out dangerous work at height! In more than 30 F! Suddenly, my foot slipped, and accidentally fell out! I would like, gone! Die! However, this will allow me to live unconsciously poking! Fortunately, I grabbed the railing of a balcony, in the 13th floor. I would like to have saved! So and so got it together to go after the climb!
Unexpectedly, suddenly it was a strike with fists of my hands, I fell off it! I think that next I really finished! However, I decided life should not, under a tent caught me, I am sure glad that the accumulation of past life German! Like so got it together to go. Who knows, fall above a refrigerator, stoned me up!
The second ghost said ... ... I am alive is a clerk. Everything okay, I have a wife, very pretty. Great body! However, flowering is a little water. I have a minor heart attack. Forgot to bring medicine to work one day, I'll get home. A door and saw his wife hair disheveled, Yishanbuzheng. Certainly adulterer. Full House so I find, looking for kitchen, toilets also find, without finding any. To the balcony, I found two hands pawing at the railing, I thought: adulterer! So a strike with fists of his hands. I thought, 13th Floor! Drop dead you see!
The results I saw, actually did not die! Were tent caught! I am worried, so Full House looking into the kitchen and found that the refrigerator is large enough, then dropped to the refrigerator. Finally he stoned it! I was so happy! Laughing. Who knows smile myocardial ridge plug, laughable it!
The third ghost said ... ... I am alive is a small bum, but I have not done anything bad! One day I went to a female friend's house Akira! Just after finishing, and her husband suddenly back! I have to find places to hide. So look for kitchen, toilets are also looking for, and eventually found their home with the large refrigerator, so I go hide in a fridge! I do not understand how her husband know that I am in the refrigerator, the refrigerator he actually dropped from the 13th floor to go!
I kill you so Lianren Dai refrigerator!