Question

英语笑话

1.简单,适合初中学生的
2.短小精练,最好文字较少
3.内容要搞笑点的,最好是别人一听就笑
4.单词不要太长
5.让人一看就知道大概讲什么事情
6.也可以是短文,但不要太长

谢谢
⌒_⌒

Answer 1

　　1.How Old Is She?
　　A woman was having some trouble with her heart, so she went to see the doctor.He was a new doctor, and did not know her. so he first asked some questions, and one of them was , "How old are you?"
　　"Well," she answered, "I don't remember. doctor, but I will try to think." She thought for a minute and then said, "Yes. I remember now, doctor! When I married, I was eighteen years old, and my husband was thirty. Now my husband is sixty, I know. And that is twice thirty. So I am twice eighteen. That is thirty-six, isn't it?"

　　2.How Did You lose Your Way?
　　Mrs Brown's old grandfather lived with her and her husband. Every morning he went for a walk in the park and came home at half past twelve for his lunch.
　　But one morning a police car stopped outside Mrs Brown's house at twelve o'clock, and two policemen helped Mr Brown to get out. One of them said to Mrs Brown, "The poor old gentleman lost his way in the park and telephoned to us for help, so we sent a car to bring him home. " Mrs Brown was very surprised, but she thanked the policemen and they left.
　　"But, Grandfather, " she then said , "you have been to that
　　park nearly every day for twenty years. How did you lose your way there?"
　　The old man smiled ,closed one eye and said, "I didn't
　　quite lose my way. I just got tired and I didn't want to walk home ! "

　　3.Small frying-pan
　　One morning a man was crossing a narrow bridge when he saw a fisherman on the shady bank of the deep, smooth river under him,so he stopped to watch him quietly.
　　After a few minutes, the fisherman pulled his line in. There was a big, fat fish at the end of it.
　　The fisherman took it off the hook and threw it back into the water. Then he put his hook and line in again. After a few more minutes he caught another big fisb. Again he threw it back into the river. Then, the third time, he caught a small fish. He put it into his basket and started to get ready to go. The man on the bridge was very surprised, so he spoke to the fisherman. He said, "Why did you throw those beautiful, big fish back into the water and keep only that small one?"
　　The fisherman looked up and answered, "Small frying-pan. "

Answer 2

:look i haven't forgotten to bring my umbrella home with me today.
:but you didn't take it with you.

Answer 3

A teacher was asking a pupil in her class,"Tommic,how many persons are there in the classroom?""Forty-one,including you,madam."Tommie answered."Then,how many are left when I go out?"the teacher asked again."None,madam."