帮我看看这篇文章写的对吗

第一次读就感觉有点极端,大家帮我看看啊http://wenku.baidu.com/link?url=_6J6hjx7tyfQaj0WnfN49QBqjpg-BJ0jlI... 第一次读就感觉有点极端,大家帮我看看啊
http://wenku.baidu.com/link?url=_6J6hjx7tyfQaj0WnfN49QBqjpg-BJ0jlIhmpbAyg_qnmSQxVLR-d6APert5jvvI38qs2O-S8kohE1Si-CZcHyfhu4nXwi5hwSIflsEkza3
关于基督教和佛教的区别
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浮世安扰丿指t
2014-08-28 · TA获得超过130个赞
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My class have a talk today.(1,这里的talk指开了1次会议,不是词组have a talk about sth.谈论。。。所以介词about多余)
Our topic is what’s happiness.(不要to)
Bob thinks that studying hard is happiness.
Lucy doesn’t agree with him, and she says that our parents taking care of us and ensuring our health is happiness, because our parents always give us much love and help.
Bella also tells me something about happiness.
If she did something wrong, there would be persons help her correct it,and then she would feel happy.(if的虚拟语气,你自己复习下。没有把握的时候建议你还是用when的句型吧,help sb. do sth.比较常用)
She thinks that is happiness.(it也对,但这里指代前文,that好些)
I agree with them, while I have another thought.
If I successeded, my friends would say congratulations to me at last.(虚拟语气呀虚拟语气,好好看看虚拟语气吧,其实你可以写成My friends would say congratulations to me at last when I succeeed.)
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