Question

请英语达人来改错!不胜感激

请个下面的这封演讲稿改语句的毛病
本人英语基础很差 语法方面一塌糊涂
稿中病句错句一定很多 希望各位能给予帮助
能改出一个算一个 很抱歉没有分值可以奖励
Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I’m very glad to stand

here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “Job of The

Future”.
女士们先生们，下午好！我十分荣幸站在这并且给你们做一段

简短的讲话。 今天我的话题是“将来的职业”
Future
未来
Everyone had dreams of the future
每个人都曾梦想过未来
How about your future
自己的未来是怎样的
I want ask How many people had dreams your Job
我想问多少人在小的时候梦想过自己的职业
is a teacher a doctor Or a lawyer?
是老师医生或者是个律师？
I would like to ask whats Job you dream now
我又想问如今你梦想的职业又是什么？
is a supervisor a Manager Or a Boss?
是个主管是个经理或者是个老板？
If you ask me whats job i dream
你若问我我所梦想的职业是什么
I want to be a millionaire
我想成为一个百万富翁
I believe everybody wants to become millionaires
我相信每个人都想成为百万富翁
but millionaire is not a dream
但是百万富翁不是梦想
Its a Target
是一个目标
Its a step by step to become's Target
是一个逐步逐步实现的目标
In the near future
在不久的将来
I will be leaving school Toward society
我将离开学校 正式的走向社会
On that time my job Perhaps is a staff of the company
那时我的职业可能只是个公司的职员
But thats is my first step
但是那便是我的第一步
I dot hope my first job have high reward
我不期盼我的第一份工作有很高的报酬
But i hope that job can be help to work of the future
但是希望能够对我以后的工作有帮助
I once worked as a telephone sales work
以前我做过一份电话销售的工作
Sales is hardest in every Industry
销售是在所有行业中难度很高的一项
Because Sale Involved in many aspects
因为销售要涉及到的方面很多
But i think thats job is helpful for me
但是我觉得那是一份使我受益很大的职业
when i face my Customers What should i do
面对我的顾客 我应该做些什么
Talk Introduced Guide
交谈 介绍 引导
These is must be in sales
这些都是销售中必须的
If you wish to be the best man
you must suffer the bitterest of the bitter
吃得苦中苦, 方为人上人
At present I think
我认为就目前而言
Money is not the first
金钱不是第一的
The first is Works experience and Handling the relationship

between people
工作经验以及处理人与人之间的关系才是第一位的
Everything is step by step
任何事情都是一步一个脚印的
Of cause
当然
reward still Important
薪水还是很重要的
because our wants to become millionaires
毕竟我们有成为百万富翁的梦想
Let us dreams our future
让我们梦想我们的未来
Set our future
建设我们的未来
Final Finish our future!
最终 完全我们的未来！
Thank you very much!
十分感谢！

Answer 1

分值不重要啊！！帮人要紧！！
Future
Everyone had dreamed about his future
How about your future
I want to ask everybody present here,
How many of you had dreamed about your profession when your were young?
Maybe it was a doctor, or a lawyer in your dreams,
However, I want to ask, if you had changed your dreams
Change to a manager or a boss?
If you ask me of my dream
I want to be a millionaire
I believe everyone want to become a millionaire
But to be a millionaire proves to be target, other than a dream
It is a target that can come true gradually
In the near future
I will be leaving school
And become a member of this society
At that time I may only be working for a company as staff
But that is my first step
I do not expect it is paid well
But it is the experience that counts
I once worked as a telephone seller
Sales is the most difficult in every industry
Because it involves many aspects
However, the job is helpful
When facing my customers, what should I do?
Communication, guidance and introduction
These are essential to a seller
I believe that if you wish to be the best man, you must suffer the bitterest of the bitter
At present I agree that money is not everything,
The first is experience and handling the relationship between people
Everything is step by step
Of course payment is still important
Because of our dreams to become millionaires

Let us dream of our future
Design our future
Finally realize our dreams!!
Thank you for your attention.

累死我了

Answer 2

I want to ask how many people had dreamed your Job
to be a teacher a doctor Or a lawyer?
I would like to ask you what's Job you dream now
I believe everybody wants to be millionaires
I will leave school and towards society
But i think thats job is helpful to me
when i face my Customers I know What should i do
because all of us wants to be millionaires
看的眼睛酸死了,这是我能找出的,也不知道对不对,凭感觉的~~~附加一句:偶还只是高中生~~~~~英语水平是~~~~~烂的可以的,改错了不要见怪~~原谅拉

Answer 3

I want (to) ask How many people had ever (dreamed) your Job
I would like to ask what(')s Job you are (dreaming) now
那些DREAMS大都错了形式..

5分就值这么多
Because I want to be a millionaire..