1分钟的英语小故事或小笑话？
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第一则：心目中的英雄Personal Hero
Our granddaughter's second-grade class was asked to write about their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.
"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.
我们的孙女儿读二年级，老师要求班上的同学写他们心目中的英雄。她的爸爸发现她选择了他，真是受宠若惊。“你为什么选我呢？”他问。
“因为我不会拼阿诺得.施瓦辛格(Arnold Schwarzenegger)，“她说。
第二则：一个数学问题A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store.
"How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents."
"But I don't want six apples."
"How many apples do you want?"
"It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic."
"What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。
有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：“苹果--五美分六个。”比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。
“苹果怎么卖？”
“五美分六个。”
“但我不想要六个。”
“你想要几个？”
“这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。”
“数学问题？你说这话是什么意思？”
“你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。”
比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。
Our granddaughter's second-grade class was asked to write about their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.
"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.
我们的孙女儿读二年级，老师要求班上的同学写他们心目中的英雄。她的爸爸发现她选择了他，真是受宠若惊。“你为什么选我呢？”他问。
“因为我不会拼阿诺得.施瓦辛格(Arnold Schwarzenegger)，“她说。
第二则：一个数学问题A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store.
"How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents."
"But I don't want six apples."
"How many apples do you want?"
"It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic."
"What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。
有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：“苹果--五美分六个。”比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。
“苹果怎么卖？”
“五美分六个。”
“但我不想要六个。”
“你想要几个？”
“这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。”
“数学问题？你说这话是什么意思？”
“你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。”
比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。
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老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑) ！！！
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思
老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍)
老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道“
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道“
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍)
老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“
我:“我很烦,别烦我“
老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)
老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“
我说:“我没听清,再说一次“
老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“
“我没听清,再说一次“
结果被扁
老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“
我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)
老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’
我说:“查字典“
“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)
老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“
我说:“你最好问别人“
“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“
“啊!god save me !“
“上帝救救我吧!”
“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)
我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“
我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“
“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手
我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”、
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思
老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍)
老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道“
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道“
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍)
老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“
我:“我很烦,别烦我“
老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)
老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“
我说:“我没听清,再说一次“
老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“
“我没听清,再说一次“
结果被扁
老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“
我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)
老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’
我说:“查字典“
“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)
老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“
我说:“你最好问别人“
“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“
“啊!god save me !“
“上帝救救我吧!”
“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)
我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“
我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“
“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手
我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”、
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