Question

帮忙改改错。

Population’s fall and down are based on four components:fertility,mortality,migration and the size and age structure.And there are a large number of impacts of other fields that are related to population. Such as economic,social,environment and so on. In this essay, I will talk about the situation of Australia’s population, the impacts of population and immigration, and what are the benefits and disadvantages of maintaining the population at present 24 million. I have chosen four sources: a book, two journal articles and a wibesite.It tells us the impacts of population and immigration from the book and the situation of Australia’s population from the articles and wibesite.All of them are relevant, reliable and recent. In my report, first of all, I will state the situation of Australia’s population, after that I will find the impacts, next I will illustrate the advantages and disadvantage of the increasing population.Lastly,I will make a conclusion.
答得好的给50分。

Answer 1

1Population's fall and down are based on four components:fertility,mortality,migration
and the size and age structure.
suggestion:
Population's (ups and downs) are based on four components: fertility, mortality,
migration and the size (of) age structure.

2 And there are a large number of impacts of other fields that are related
to population. Such as economic,social,environment and so on.
suggestion:
And there (is) a large number...(, such) as economic,social, (environmental)
and so on.
(economic,...全部用形容词,或全部改用名词,即 economy, society, environment
and so on.)

3 In this essay, I will talk about the situation of Australia's population,
the impacts of population and immigration, and what are the benefits and disadvantages of maintaining the population at present 24 million.
suggestion:
, (and the benefits) and disadvantages of...

4 I have chosen four sources: a book, two journal articles and a wibesite.
suggestion:
a web site( or website)

5 It tells us the impacts of population and immigration from the book and
the situation of Australia's population from the articles and wibesite.
suggestion:
(The book tells us the impacts of population and immigration, and the articles
and the web site tell us the situation of Australia's population.)

5 All of them are relevant, reliable and recent.

6 In my report, first of all, I will state the situation of Australia〉s
population, after that I will find the impacts, next I will illustrate the
advantages and disadvantage of the increasing population.
suggestion:
In my report, first of all, I will state the situation of Australia's population,
(before finding) the impacts, (and then) I will illustrate the advantages
and (disadvantages) of the increasing population.
注: finding意思不太好,用discussing如何?

7 Lastly,I will make a conclusion.