Question

一篇英语作文， 帮我修改一下好吗？ 非常感谢你。

My Valuable Present
Last Sunday, I had my birthday. I received a special present from my Dad. It was a dictionary. It was thick and colourful. I was amazed to see the thing and opened it on my own. On the first page, I saw a sentence: Where there is a will, there is a way. I decided to look up words in it and learned it with my heart. I do believe if I tried my best to learn English, I will succeed. So it's a valuable present in my mind.

Answer 1

My Valuable Present
Last Sunday, I had my birthday. I received a special present which was bought by(加上了定于从句) my Dad. Opening the present,I was amamzed(用了非谓，在句中很提分).（要注意语序，先打开，才知道里面是什么）It was a dictionary.And(注意衔接) it was not only thick but （用了not only...but also...句式）colourful. On the first page, I saw a sentence: Where there is a will, there is a way. I would（用decide不是非常恰当） look up the new words in it and learned them(注意代词的单复数形式) by（此处应该用介词by，另外不用加物主代词，表示“用心”）heart. I do believe if I try（不用变形） my best to learn English, I will succeed. （不包含因果关系）It's a valuable present to me.

Answer 2

I had my birthday- It's my birthday
I was amazed- It's amazing
look up words in it and-look up the words and then
If I tried- If I try
in my mind=to me