我要写信给范德萨，我现在内容已经有一个初稿了，请各位英语高手帮我看下这段文字有没有语病，thankyou!
DearMr.VanDerSarI'maloyalfantoyouandyourManchesterUnitedinChina.Congratulationtoyoubr...
Dear Mr. Van Der Sar
I'm a loyal fan to you and your Manchester United in China. Congratulation to you braking the record of England goalkeeper.
In Manchester United, you are the center of the team. you helped your team get out of the hell in the Premier League and the UEFA Champions League. Although your team were not the champion in the end of Premier League last season, you deserve all the rewards, you’re still the best.
In The FA Community Shield 2010,you helped Manchester United become the champion. In the match between United and Chelsea, your great performance in the match helped your team win the game.
There’re many MU fans in China loving you very much. They wish you could pay a visit to China, see the wonderful World Expo and Great Wall in Shanghai and Beijing. We are really eager for your coming, and we all welcome you!
In the end, hope you can get more for Manchester United and yourself in the new season. You are a legend!
而且最后一句要用“You are a legend"还是“You are the legend"呢，望高手纠错解答。
有什么更好的语句大家补充下好吗，谢谢！ 补充一段：When you join to Manchester United, I will be almost every day to look about you and united all the news.I am studying in a high school now.I am busy studying everyday.But I also love you very much. I really like this position, goalkeeper.So,you are my favourite footballer. 请问一下大家还有什么建议吗？ （后来这段中间又加了一句：“I am studying in a high school now.I am busy studying everyday.But I also love you very much.”） 展开
I'm a loyal fan to you and your Manchester United in China. Congratulation to you braking the record of England goalkeeper.
In Manchester United, you are the center of the team. you helped your team get out of the hell in the Premier League and the UEFA Champions League. Although your team were not the champion in the end of Premier League last season, you deserve all the rewards, you’re still the best.
In The FA Community Shield 2010,you helped Manchester United become the champion. In the match between United and Chelsea, your great performance in the match helped your team win the game.
There’re many MU fans in China loving you very much. They wish you could pay a visit to China, see the wonderful World Expo and Great Wall in Shanghai and Beijing. We are really eager for your coming, and we all welcome you!
In the end, hope you can get more for Manchester United and yourself in the new season. You are a legend!
而且最后一句要用“You are a legend"还是“You are the legend"呢，望高手纠错解答。
有什么更好的语句大家补充下好吗，谢谢！ 补充一段：When you join to Manchester United, I will be almost every day to look about you and united all the news.I am studying in a high school now.I am busy studying everyday.But I also love you very much. I really like this position, goalkeeper.So,you are my favourite footballer. 请问一下大家还有什么建议吗？ （后来这段中间又加了一句：“I am studying in a high school now.I am busy studying everyday.But I also love you very much.”） 展开
3个回答
展开全部
原文写的很好，只有极个别的错误，已经在下面改正了。最后补充的那一段好像和前面的不是一个档次，所以我给删掉了大部分，只保留了一句，希望你满意。
Dear Mr. Van Der Sar
I'm a loyal fan to you and your Manchester United in China. Congratulations to you breaking the record of England goalkeeper.
In Manchester United, you are the center of the team. You helped your team get out of the hell in the Premier League and the UEFA Champions League. Although your team was not the champion in the end of Premier League last season, you deserve all the rewards, you’re still the best.
In The FA Community Shield 2010, you helped Manchester United become the champion. In the match between United and Chelsea, your great performance in the match helped your team win the game.
There’re many MU fans in China loving you very much. They wish you could pay a visit to China, see the wonderful World Expo and the Great Wall in Shanghai and Beijing. We are really eager for your coming, and we all welcome you!
You are a legend! And you are my favourite footballer. In the end, hope you can get more for Manchester United and yourself in the new season.
Dear Mr. Van Der Sar
I'm a loyal fan to you and your Manchester United in China. Congratulations to you breaking the record of England goalkeeper.
In Manchester United, you are the center of the team. You helped your team get out of the hell in the Premier League and the UEFA Champions League. Although your team was not the champion in the end of Premier League last season, you deserve all the rewards, you’re still the best.
In The FA Community Shield 2010, you helped Manchester United become the champion. In the match between United and Chelsea, your great performance in the match helped your team win the game.
There’re many MU fans in China loving you very much. They wish you could pay a visit to China, see the wonderful World Expo and the Great Wall in Shanghai and Beijing. We are really eager for your coming, and we all welcome you!
You are a legend! And you are my favourite footballer. In the end, hope you can get more for Manchester United and yourself in the new season.
本回答由提问者推荐
已赞过
已踩过<
评论
收起
你对这个回答的评价是？
推荐律师服务：
若未解决您的问题，请您详细描述您的问题，通过百度律临进行免费专业咨询
