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ThehousesprangtolifewheneveryonearrivedonChristmasEve.Inthemiddleofourchurchservice,_... The house sprang to life when everyone arrived on Christmas Eve.In the middle of our church service,__1__,my spirits fell.There was no lonelier feeling than standing in the __2__ of one's family singing “Silent Night”—__3__ by an active college daughter; a sweet,gentle daughter-in-law; a handsome,__4__ 25-year-old son; a wide-eyed,3-year-old grandson; and an awkward teenager whose hugs were like wet shoelaces—and be keenly __5__ that someone was missing.Back at home,everyone continued to __6__ the subject.
“The tree is splendid,Mom,” Molly said.She knelt down and began pulling __7__ out of a shopping bag to add to my pile.
“I love what you did with the __8__,Pam,” Amy said.“You're always so __9__”
“I forgot to buy wrapping paper,” I told her.“I __10__ use newspaper.”
It was Christmas as usual—easier to __11__ everything was normal than deal with hardhearted __12__.Ross and Patrick quarreled over whose stocking was __13__,and Shane parked himself in front of a bowl of M&Ms.They all got to open the customary one __14__ on Christmas Eve,and after doing so,we went off to bed.It was Christmas __15__—easier to pretend everything was normal than deal with hardhearted reality.
But there was one __16__ thing that had to be done.I went over to Tom's desk,found a red __17__ in the top drawer,and stuck into it a check made out to the American Heart Association.It seemed __18__ “I know the kids—and even I—have to go on with our lives,Tom,” I whispered.“
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大家都在平安夜赶来,房子又热闹起来。但是,我在教堂的弥撒当中,忽然情绪很低落。没什么比站在家人当中唱“平安夜”更感孤单——包围著我的有念高校的活跃女儿、温柔甜美的媳妇、英俊成功的25岁儿子、挺著一双大眼睛的3岁孙子,和一个尴尬的少年,拥抱他人就像鞋带湿了般不自在——在人群中令我敏锐地意识到有人不在了。回到家里,大家继续回避这话题。
「妈妈,这棵树很缤纷灿烂」:莫莉说。她跪下来,开始把礼物从购物袋里掏出来,加在我的一堆之上。
「我喜欢你的包装纸,帕姆」,艾米说: 「你总是这么有创意。」
「我忘了买包装纸」,我告诉她说:「我只好用报纸。 」
这和往常的圣诞节一样,更容易扮作若无其事,暂不去理会冷酷无情的现实。罗斯和帕特里克吵起来,争吵著那一只袜子是自己的,阿山则溜涟在盛满M&M巧克力的碗前。他们都习惯在平安夜拆一份礼物,然后,就上床去。这和往常的圣诞节一样——更容易扮作若无其事,暂不去理会冷酷无情的现实。
但有一件事是我必须做的。我走去汤姆的办公桌上,在最上面的抽屉里找到一个红色的信封,并把一张支票塞进去寄到「美国心脏协会」。我低声地说,这句话似乎很恰当:「汤姆,我知道孩子们,甚至我,都要继续我们的生活,但我希望你在这里。」我突然想起,我把的红信封挂在树上,其中一个孩子会说:「哦,是啊!我记得他总是那样做的。」
然后会有一阵沉默,也许还有羞怯的样子,我但愿如此。
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