Question

求英语达人帮我改个200字的小作文

本人因为涉猎其他语种，英语基本上忘光了，，，最近报了个英语班，考试题目是写一篇Email，为一个电脑展会发表自己的意见和建议，我尝试这写了一个但是估计有很多错误，希望英语达人能帮我改一改，不胜感激！！ 文章如下:

Dear ladies and Gentlemen，

I’m aparticipant of your computer fair. It was excellent, people and companies exchange their ideals and learn lot of new things about computer from each other. But I and the other participators still find some deficiencies of the fair. For a better exhibition next year I want give you some suggestions.

First, I think next year you could find an exhibition with the entrance, which could be closerto the park, because some companies said it was too long to carry all of things from park to the entrance. And about the park I want to say, that you should find a bigger park and a park controller to solve the chaotic solution of parkers like this year.

Second thing is about the exhibition center, I think it should be bigger, so that every company could have enough place to display their equipment. And a little adviceabout the seminar, please prepare some better microphone for seminar speaker,they just can’t heard themself.

The lastthing, could you please make the fair longer? The fair was interesting but alittle short, some participants just cannot visit all companies before the endof the fair.

I and the other participants wish, that the computer fair could be even better next year!

Best wishes.

XX

Answer 1

Dear ladies and Gentlemen，

I’m a participant of your computer fair. The fair was excellent, people and companies exchanged their ideas and learned a lot of new things about computers. With all due respect, some participants find some deficiencies about the fair. I would like to suggest a few things as constructing.

First of all, a pavilion with great place would be amazing. I heard some merchants complained that the distance between the parking lot and the entrance was way too long. Whereas the parking lot was slightly chaotic this year, so a controller that might help solve the problem.

The second thing is the exhibition center, I hope it would be broader so that all companies could have enough space to display their equipment. And one piece of advice about the seminar, please prepare better microphones beforehand, or else it's awkward for speakers.

Last but not least, a proper fair extension would help. Resting but a little short, some participants were not able to visit all companies before the end of the fair.

We all expect that there will be a better computer fair next year.

Best wishes.
XX

po主，麻烦您下次在标点符号后面加一个空格再输入下一句话哦:-D