Question

STUDY PLAN错误帮忙找下，语法的搭配的帮忙下！！！

STUDY PLAN

My name is xxx, I was born in mar,l993. From 2002 to 2007 I studied at xxx School, and from 2004 to now I'm at XXX School.
I am a responsible，Friendly and warmhearted person。I have so many habit, for example: swimming, skating, and also like playing football, and listen to music.
In recent years, many friends and classmates around to study abroad. Of course have study In the Canada. Through of my friends and the Internet in understanding that Canada is a beautiful scenery and beautiful country, Not only good learning environment so Canada also owns advanced education system and Science. This makes me yearning to study in the Canada, want to study abroad. I think also got the support of your family, I aspire to learn not disappoint them to my expectation. Now I will entrust my friend to submit my application to the education department in Richmond, British Columbia.
If I could study in Canada, I am planning to major in natural science. I really like natural science from childhood. I know that Canada's natural science is a leading international status. In natural science, I prefer physics and psychology. Now I drew up study plan. My plan is to complete my courses in senior high school in order make further progress in my English and Through my hard work was the ideal university study of natural science.
My parents have only one daughter, I hope I could repay them and my motherland when
I finish my studies I go back to my country. The reasons for it are as follows: Firstly, I am Chinese, China is my motherland. Secondly, I have duty is to come back to take care of my parents according to Chinese tradition. . I believe that at that time China must have fully developed, which will provide with much bigger space for me to put my talent to good use.
Studying in Canada will help me to realize the life's leap. Thanks for taking your time to read my words. Kindly please consider my application and give a young ambitions man a chance to realize his dream.

Yours sincerely xxx
Date Aug 30, 2010

Answer 1

STUDY PLAN
Date Aug 30, 2010
My name is xxx, I was born in mar,l993. From 2002 to 2007 I studied at xxx School, and from 2004 to now I'm at XXX School.
I am a responsible，Friendly and warmhearted person。I have so many habitS, for example: swimming, skating, and I also like playing football, and listenING to music.
In recent years, many friends and classmates around WENT to study abroad. Of course have study In the Canada. Through of my friends and the Internet,I understand that Canada is a beautiful country.IT IS not only A good learning environment BUT also owns AN advanced education system and Science. This makes me yearning to study in Canada. I think also got the support of your family, I aspire to learn not disappoint them to my expectation. Now I will entrust my friend to submit my application to the education department in Richmond, British Columbia.
If I CAN study in Canada, I am planning to major in natural science. I really like natural science SINCE childhood. I know that Canada's natural science is IN a leading international POSITION. In natural science, I prefer physics and psychology. Now I AM drAWING up A study plan. My plan is to complete my courses in senior high school in order make further progress in my English and Through my hard work was the ideal university study of natural science.
My parents have only one daughter, I hope I could repay them and my motherland. When
I finish my studies, I WILL go back to my country. The reasons for it are as follows: Firstly, I am Chinese, China is my motherland. Secondly, I have duty to come back to take care of my parents according to Chinese tradition. . I believe that at that time China must have fully developed, which will provide with much bigger space for me to put my talent to good use.
Studying in Canada will help me to realize the life's leap. Thanks for taking your time to read my words. Kindly please consider my application and give a ambitioUS YOUNG GIRL a chance to realize HER dream.

Yours sincerely
xxx