Question

英语幽默故事阅读文章

Answer 1

Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” Father's Things When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening. Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things. One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully. Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?" "Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom. "And that shirt's mine too." "Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom. "And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard. "Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?" 父亲的东西 汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。 霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。 一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。 然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？” 汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。” “还有那衬衫也是我的。” “是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。 “还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。 “是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？” Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” 　　Big Head “All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head” “Don't listen to them.”his mother forted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I haven't got one,use your hat.” 大脑袋 “所有的孩子都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。” “购物袋在哪？” “我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” 还有很多，太难打了！！！汗！！！！ 　　Correct Teacher:Jimmy,what are the three words which pupils use most often at school? Jimmy:I don't know... Teacher:Correct 很对 老师：吉米，学生在学校里经常用的三个字是什么？ 吉米：不知道...... 老师：很对 Animai with Four Legs Teacher:Betty,nanme o animals which have four legs. Betty:Two hens. 四条腿的动物 老师：贝蒂，个我们说出两个四条腿的动物。 贝蒂：两只母鸡 　　 1. if you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.

如果你因错过太阳而流泪，那么你也将错过群星。

2. what you are you do not see, what you see is your shadow.

你看不见你自己，你所看见的只是你的影子

3. wrong cannot afford defeat but right can.

错误经不起失败，但是真理却不怕失败。

4. we read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.

我们把世界看错了，反说它欺骗我们。

5. let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.

使生如夏花之绚烂，死如秋叶之静美。　

6. i cannot choose the best. the best chooses me.

我不能选择那最好的。是那最好的选择我。

7. i leave no trace of wings in the air, but i am glad i have had my flight.

天空没有翅膀的痕迹，而我已飞过

8. do not linger to gather flowers to keep them, but walk on,for flowers will keep themselves blooming all your way.

只管走过去，不必逗留着采了花朵来保存，因为一路上花朵自会继续开放的。*

9. let my love, like sunlight, surround you and yet give you illumined freedom.

让我的爱象阳光一样包围着你，而又给你光辉灿烂的自由

10. my heart, the bird of the wilderness, has found its sky in your eyes

我的心，就像一只旷野的鸟，在你的双眼中找到了天空.

11 genius is one percent inspiration and niy-nine percent perspiration.

天才是百分之一的灵感加上百分之九十九的汗水。

12 time and tide waits for no man. 岁月不等人