Question

简短的英语小笑话

Answer 1

　　塞翁失马 焉知非福 (Blessing or Bane)
　　Once upon a time, there was a man named Saiweng. He lived near China's northern borders. His
　　horse went into the land of northern people. His neighbors all felt sorry for him. "Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a blessing," said Saiweng.
　　After a few months, his horse came back with another fine horse from the north. Everyone congratulated him.
　　"Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a bad luck," said Saiweng.
　　Before long, his son became fond of riding. One day he fell from a horse and broke his leg. Again, his neighbors all felt sorry for him.
　　"Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a blessing," said Saiweng.
　　One year later, the northern people started a war along the border. All the strong young men took up arms and fought against the invaders. Most of them died. But Saiweng's son did not join in the fighting because he was lame so both of them survived.
　　很久以前，有个人叫塞翁。他住在北部边疆。塞翁养的马跑进了北边民族的地盘。他的邻居们都为他感到难过。
　　“也许这会是件好事呢！”塞翁说。
　　几个月后，塞翁的马自己跑回了家，还带了一匹好马回来。人们都去向他道贺。
　　塞翁却说：“也许这不是什么好事呢！”
　　没多久，塞翁的儿子就喜欢上了骑马，一天他从马上掉了下来，摔断了腿。邻居们都替塞翁难过。
　　“也许这会是件好事呢！”塞翁却说。
　　一年后，北方的民族大举入侵，年青人都被征集参军去打仗。死了很多人。塞翁的儿子却因为摔断了腿不能去当兵，从而保住了性命。

Answer 2

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

Answer 3

Madam,I'm Adam.
回文的

Answer 4

Father:do you know?Today is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful!
Son:??Great occasion of nation stanza?Is just Chinese?
Father:do you guess a foreign country to have?
Son:this I also don't know,affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"!
Father:......

Answer 5

who is nuts? In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when
the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said: "Doctor, every day this patient thinks that heis a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!" The doctor said: "No, you have to pull him down at once; otherwise, he'll die if he falls down." After a pause, the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
Who do you think you are? The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.It is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are? I am the driver. he said.
Son: Why are hen's legs so short?Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their
eggs into pieces when laying?
Very stupid robbers Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!

Answer 6

who？
Iam！