Question

高手帮我看看这篇文章有什么语法错误和结构错误。

新概念

The writer in the showplace in the last week. A young man and a young women behind him. they were talking too loudly for writer to enjoy the play. So the write turned round and said that I can not hear a word. But ,to him surprise, the young man said that it is none of your business. It is a private conversation.

The writer never get up early on Sunday. So last Sunday he also got up very late. When he had breakfast his aunt called with him said that I arrived by train and come to see you. But the writer's told her I having breakfast.The writer's aunt is very surprise and said do you always so late? It is one o'olock.

麻烦详细回答下错在哪，该如何改。 不要直接把自己改过的文章贴上。谢了！我会在采纳时再加分的。
正如一楼所说的，When he had breakfast his aunt called with him said that I arrived by train and come to see you.（when与过去完成时态矛盾。when的意思是从句与主句同时发生，过去完成时又是说这个动作发生在另一个过去动作之前。） 那么这种情况下该如何改？

Answer 1

The writer in the showplace in the last week.（缺谓语） A young man and a young women behind him.（缺谓语） they were talking too loudly for writer to enjoy the play.（to的逻辑主语应该与too的相同，这里不同，作者本意想要使to的逻辑主语成为writer） So the write turned round and said that I can not hear a word.（can应该改为could） But ,to him（改为his，to one's surprise 固定搭配） surprise, the young man said that it is none of your business.It is a private conversation.（这里最好不要用that从句，犯了时态与前面不一致，代词指代不清的错误。改为引号引用）

The writer never get up(gets up) early on Sunday. So last Sunday he also got up very late.When he had breakfast his aunt called with him said that I arrived by train and come to see you.（when与过去完成时态矛盾。when的意思是从句与主句同时发生，过去完成时又是说这个动作发生在另一个过去动作之前。） But the writer's（所有格错误） told her I（缺BE动词was） having breakfast.The writer's aunt is very surprise and said do you always so late? It is one o'olock.
整片文章时态混乱，有时用现在时有时用过去时，应该统一。

Answer 2

第一行的the 改成a ,理由：这是第一次提到这位 writer ,故要用a。且此句没有谓语动词，因此此句完全不通。我的参考是：A writer was in the showplace last week.
不行我改不下去了，你这篇文章错误太多了，而且都是低级错误，我实在受不了，建议你先找几篇范文背一下，然后再写，要不然谁改了你的文章就是谁在帮你写。