Question

帮忙改作文在线等！谢！！！！

When I was thirteen I went to the United States for the first time as an exchange student. We went to a high school and stayed there for 19 days. For 12 days, we stayed at the school and visited famous sights in New York; for the other week, we went to the countryside close to New York.
We had 29 Chinese students and 10 American students in our group. We did some sightseeing in New York first: the Statue of Liberty, Metropolitan Museum of Art, and Columbia University.
In the countryside, we trained teamwork there. Every morning we had two students to prepare breakfast for all students and teachers. Next, we divided into three groups to train wire-walking. First, we had to climb to a height, then we walked across the wire one by one. To be honest, it was very scary to me, because I had acrophobia. But all other students completed the task very quickly, and so I had no way to escape. But after I did that, I became braver.
When we finished one day’s training, we had four students to clean the kitchen and bathroom. Then we sat outside, played some interesting games or lay down on the grass to look at the sky.
I remember one of the most exciting training sessions was to climb a mountain, because it had never been explored by people. In the mountain, we found some animals like snakes, squirrels, and a great deal of insects.
On the way up, when I was passing a stream, I was bitten by a snake. Fortunately, it was a grass snake.
During the seven days in the countryside we learned a lot of things about teamwork from my fellow students and teachers. We also made many friends in New York. In my mind, that was an exciting and interesting experience I ever had.
不要去观光的部分，在第一段写主题，主题就是从这次团队训练活动中我有三个感受。后面分三段写三个感受，写三个关于中美学生的差异，独立，热情，还有我也想不出来了。举例就是我们去爬山之前他们都自己准备自己的东西，速度很快很齐全，到爬山的时候我们有的没带的东西比如外用的药他们都带了。还有就是他们并不是想我们想的那么傲慢，相反很热情，反而是中国学生很羞涩不怎么主动参与活动。
最后一段把这三点总结下。
快一点！感激不尽了！！！！！！！！

Answer 1

When I was thirteen I went to the United States for the first time as an exchange student. 【We went to a high school and stayed there for 19 days. For 12 days, we stayed at the school and visited famous sights in New York; for the other week, we went to the countryside close to New York.】
打括号的没有任何错误，可是我觉得更好的可以写成：Of the 19 days we stayed at a local high school in New York, 12 of them were spent visiting famous sights of the city while the other week was left for a visit to the countryside nearby.

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We had 29 Chinese students and 10 American students in our group. 【We did some sightseeing in New York first: the Statue of Liberty, Metropolitan Museum of Art, and Columbia University.】
同样的也没有错误。就是可以写的更好。一般在写文章的时候用“：”是最好能避则避的。First, we did some sightseeing in New York. This included the Statue of Liberty, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and Columbia University.

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【In the countryside, we trained teamwork there. 】
如果要更好的和上一段话有连接的话，这一句话就要改。When we went to the countryside later, we were tested our teamwork skills.

【Every morning we had two students to prepare breakfast for all students and teachers. 】
句子应该反一下：We had two students preparing breakfast for all students and teachers every morning.

【Next, we divided into three groups to train wire-walking.】
同样的，如果要有句子和句子之间的连贯性：We also had to divide ourselves into three groups, for the tight ropes course. （tight ropes就是你说的wire-walking）

First, we had to climb to a height, then we walked across the wire one by one. 【To be honest, it was very scary to me, because I had acrophobia. 】
第一句没错，第二句：As I was afraid of heights, I was very scared at the time. 实际上不用写“恐高症”的英文，因为一般都不用这样的专业名词，afraid of heights就够了。

【But all other students completed the task very quickly, and so I had no way to escape. But after I did that, I became braver. 】
不要用那么多的but，会显得你词汇量不够哦(而且语法里面还有致命的一点：不能用but开始写句子！)：As all other students completed the task very quickly, I had no way of escape. Despite how scared I was, I did feel I was braver than ever before, after my turn.

【When we finished one day's training, we had four students to clean the kitchen and bathroom. Then we sat outside, played some interesting games or lay down on the grass to look at the sky. 】
When we finished a day's training, four students had to clean the kitchen and bathroom while the rest of us would sit outside. Some playing games and others simply starred into the sky laying on the soft grass.

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【I remember one of the most exciting training sessions was to climb a mountain, because it had never been explored by people. In the mountain, we found some animals like snakes, squirrels, and a great deal of insects.】

I remember one of the most exciting training session for me, was mountain climbing. The mountain has yet to be explored by people, and we found animals such as snakes, squirrels and a great deal of insects.

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【On the way up, when I was passing a stream, I was bitten by a snake. Fortunately, it was a grass snake. 】

I was bitten by a snake when I walked past a stream on my way up the mountain. Fortunately though, it was a non-poisonous grass snake.

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During the seven days in the countryside we learned a lot of things about teamwork from 【my】 fellow students and teachers.
正解：our

【We also made many friends in New York.】
We have also made many friends from New York.

【In my mind, that was an exciting and interesting experience I ever had.】
In my mind是一句很中国英语的说法，更好的应该直接用think（想）或者是believe（相信）；另外如果结尾是“ever had”，那句子前面请加most，因为“most···ever”是“最···的”的意思哦：I think that it was the most exciting and interesting experience I've ever had.

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最后的最后，关于你那一段中文，我给你大概的写了一点：

除了观光和结识美国朋友们，我也学到了中美学生的差异。
Besides the sightseeing and meeting American students, I've also learned a lot about the differences in American and Chinese culture.

我们遇见的美国学生们都非常的独立，非常的热情。比如说我们去爬山之前他们都自己准备自己的东西，速度很快很齐全，到爬山的时候我们有的没带的东西比如外用的药他们都带了。
The American students we met were all very independent （独立）and passionate（热情）. For example, when we went mount climbing, they prepared their own equipment, with speed and accuracy. Just as when we climbed to the mountain top, they even brought a first-aid kit which came in handy for some of us as we did not think of bringing it.

他们并不是想我们想的那么傲慢，相反很热情，反而是中国学生很羞涩不怎么主动参与活动。
They were also not as snobbish (傲慢，骄傲) as I originally though either. On the contrary, they were very outgoing and warm. It was actually the Chinese students that were shy and reluctant (不愿意) to participate in different activities.

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这样应该差不多了吧。LZ要追加分数哦～～～

Answer 2

建议你到新东方批改网上提交一下，那里有专业老师帮你批改