求英文高手帮忙改下英文作文,万分感谢!

请帮忙改下语法错误,着重看动词!还有语句是否通顺连贯。还有能添点妙句更好了!谢谢啦!HanHaoniaoThereisalegendarybird,calledHanHa... 请帮忙改下语法错误,着重看动词!还有语句是否通顺连贯。还有能添点妙句更好了!谢谢啦!

Han Haoniao

There is a legendary bird, called Han Haoniao. The bird is different from others. He has four long legs, two wings of bare flesh, and not as common as flying birds.
In the Summer, Han Haoniao looks very beautiful when his body covered with a bright feathers. Han Haoniao feels very proud and thinks that he is the most beautiful bird under the sun, and even Phoenix can not be compared with him. So he all day shakes the feathers, everywhere, but also triumphantly sings: " I better than Phoenix! I better than Phoenix!"
When summer passed and autumn arrives, the birds are very busy. Some of them flew to the south and ready to spend the time in a warm winter; others want to stay here and start to accumulate food, repair nests, and make winter preparations. Only Han Haoniao has no ability to fly to the South and he is unwilling to hard work. He is still day loitering, and also keeps to show off his body and beautiful feathers.
When winter finally comes, the weather is so cold, the birds are staying in their warm nest. At the same time, Han Haoniao who has beautiful feathers is shivering in the cold wind. Night, he is hiding in a crevice, frozen whole body, and he keeps crying: " cold, ah, ah cold!I must build a nest next morning!" When the sun comes out, the warm sun makes Han Haoniao forget the cold night, so he keeps singing: "muddling along! muddle along! sun warm below! sun warm below!"
The evening comes again, Han Haoniao repeats the same story last night. Repeating a few nights, the snow suddenly comes. Next morning, the birds are surprising that why Han Haoniao does not sing? When the sun comes out, they find a look, Han Haoniao had frozen to death.
In this story, I realize that some people just like Han Haoniao. They often postpone doing something, and will do in the end. Sometime they feel regret when they miss something important. I want to say is to cherish now, act quickly. Because some things will not come again.
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oneminusten
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There is a legendary bird, called Han Haoniao. This bird is different from other common birds. He has four long legs and two bare flesh wings.
In the Summer, Han Haoniao looks astonishingly beautiful with his body coated by a layer of bright feathers. Han Haoniao is very proud, and he thinks he is the most beautiful bird under the sun(sky). Even a phoenix can not compare to his beauty. So he shakes his feathers everywhere all day long, and triumphantly sings, "I am better than the phoenix! I am better than the phoenix!"
When summer passes and autumn arrives, all the birds become very busy. Some of them fly to the south to seek a warm place for winter; others stay and begin to accumulate food, repair nests, and make ready for winter preparations. Except Han Haoniao, because he has no ability to fly to the south, and he is unwilling to do the hard work. He still wonders around all day and keeps on showing off his beautiful feathers.
When winter finally arrives, the weather turns very cold drastically. Other birds stay in their warm nest while Han Haoniao shivering in the cold blowing wind with his unavailing beauty. At night, Han Haoniao hides in a crevice, frozen, and keeps crying, "cold, ah, ah cold!I must build a nest next morning!" When the sun comes out, the warm shaft of light makes Han Haoniao forget about the cold he suffered last night, so he keeps singing, "muddling along! muddle along! warmth under the sun! warmth under the sun!"
The evening comes again, Han Haoniao repeats the same event last night. After repeating a few nights the snow suddenly comes. The next morning, others birds are surprised that why Han Haoniao does not sing? When the sun comes out, they find out that Han Haoniao had frozen to death.
In this story, I realize that some people just like Han Haoniao. They often postpone their work and tell themselves that they will do it at the end. Sometime they feel regret when they miss something important. What I want to say is, cherish every moment you have and act immediately. Because some things will not come agai (muddling along 这句你想表达什么?)
syd707316970
2010-10-14 · TA获得超过6301个赞
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改后的:
There is a legendary bird, called Han Haoniao. The bird is different from others. He has four long legs, two wings of bare flesh, and it 's not as the common flying birds.
In summer, Han Haoniao looks very beautiful when his body covered with bright feathers. Han Haoniao feels very proud and thinks that he is the most beautiful bird under the sun, and even Phoenix can not compare with him. So he shakes the feathers all day , everywhere, and also triumphantly singing: " I am better than Phoenix! I am better than Phoenix!"
When summer passed and autumn arrives, the birds are very busy. Some of them flew to the south and ready to spend the time in a warm winter; others want to stay here and start accumulating food, repairing nests, and making winter preparations. Only Han Haoniao has no ability to fly to the South and he is unwilling to work hard . He is still loitering all day, and still keeps showing off his body and beautiful feathers .
When winter finally comes, the weather is so cold, the birds are staying in their warm nest. At the same time, the Han Haoniao with beautiful feathers is shivering in the cold wind. At night, he hide himself in a crevice, his whole body frozen, and he began to cry: " cold, ah, ah cold!I must build a nest next morning!" When the sun comes out, the warm sun makes Han Haoniao forget the cold night, so he was still singing: "muddling along! muddle along! the sunshine is warm ! the sunshine is warm!"
The evening comes again, Han Haoniao repeats the same thing last night. Repeating a few nights, the snow suddenly comes. Next morning, the birds are surprised that why Han Haoniao was not singing? When the sun comed out, they found that Han Haoniao had frozen to death.
From this story, I realize that some people are just like Han Haoniao. They often postpone doing something, and will do in the end. Sometime they feel regret when they miss something important. I want to say is that we should cherish the time now, take action right away since some things will not come again and again
.
你这篇文章有很多低级错误,包括时态和语态等,我只能给你改一些,因为实在看不下去了。你的英语表达水平可真够低的。
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