Question

急求英语幽默小短文一则 谢谢 是个英语小笑话也行 字数不要太多 高一内容 简单易懂的谢谢！

Answer 1

　　早上
　　一个屁哄蚂蚂蓝一个耐呱子菜一大赛阳坡,照撤揽务面过来闹一个大节牛.屁哄蚂蚂揽耐
　　呱子赶紧行(xing)闹个坑坑着羌哈.耐呱子捣闹一哈屁哄蚂蚂,说：瓜孙,一根腿含猜外前奈！
　　屁哄蚂蚂捣闹一捶说：悄悄个洒,各要把务龟子孙过半他个酿膀子！
　　中午
　　耐呱子看撤一大阵屁哄蚂蚂排到队,急料是挖地样前走.
　　问：鸟都组色其来?
　　答：今早升,搞一达到一个吗严到个牛拌劲大闹,搞都过输血其来！
　　晚上：
　　耐呱子看撤一大屁哄蚂蚂排到队,克回来闹.
　　问：鸟都啊门哈着克来闹?
　　答：连共一个揽老牛到血型一样,搞到留哈等着抽血着来,再到么组到,求都回来闹！我给大家翻译一下这段搞笑的定西方言我给大家翻译一下这段搞笑的定西方言：
　　早上：一只蚂蚁和一只癞哈蟆晒太阳，对面过来了一头大牛，于是它们俩找了一个小地洞躲起来，癞哈蟆看了一下旁边的蚂蚁说：傻瓜，一只腿还在外面阿。蚂蚁向癞哈蟆做了一个嘘的动作说：悄悄的，我要把老牛用我这腿拌到。
　　中午：癞哈蟆看见有好多蚂蚁排队走来，就问：你们这是要干吗去?蚂蚁答：我们的一个伙伴听说被老牛给踩伤了，我们要去给输血阿。
　　晚上：癞哈蟆又看见那邦蚂蚁排队走来，于是癞哈蟆就问：这么早就回来了。蚂蚁就说：阿，只有一个的血型和老牛的一样，我们其他的没有事干，就回来了。太搞笑了…一个小小的癞蛤蟆也想和老牛叫量…
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Answer 2

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人

够短了不？

Answer 3

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

Answer 4

teacher:what is rhe plural of man ,tom?
Tom:Men
Teacher:Good,And the plural of child?
Tom:Twins
老师：汤姆，男人的复数形式是什么？
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。那孩子的复数形式呢？
汤姆：双胞胎。
John and David met in the street ome day.
"I want to ask you for a favour ,but can you keep it secret for me?"said Jhon
"Certainly I can,"answered David
"I'm short of money these days. will you please lend me some?"
"Oh , don't worry,"David said ."I'll take it as if I did not hear you."
有一天，约翰和大卫在大街上相遇。约翰说：“我想请你帮我个忙，但你能替我保密码？”
“当然能”大卫回答
“这些日子我缺钱，请你借个我一些好吗？”
“哦，别担心，”大卫说，“我就只当什么也没听见一样。”

Answer 5

One day in class.Helen asked her teacher,"Mr Collins, why does a man's hair become gray before his mustache and beard do?" Mr Collins laughed and answered,"i Don't know, Helen. "I don't know either," answered Helen, "but it happened to my father." Just then, as the other children in the buzzed and laughed at the sound of such strange news, one of the boys said," I know! A man's hair becomes gray first, because it's sixteen years older than the mustache and beard!"