Question

英语看看我有没有语法错误？

There are numerous choices throughout everyone’s life, and every decision you would make may cause an enormous influence on your life so that what kind of life you have is dependent on what kind of choice you would make.
（我想表达的意思是：人的一生面临着无数的选择，而每一次选择都会对人生产生重要影响；一个人的一生怎样度过，就看他在人生的岔路口做出了怎样的选择，选择不同，命运就会不同）

Answer 1

没有什么大问题，就是后面so that表达“因此，所以”的时候，最好用逗号隔开，否则句子有点长。另外，有些表达可以更英语一些，
一个是不需要用那么多would来表示假设和委婉的语气。另外人称要统一，不要在开头讨论的是everyone（第三人称）后面又用you（第二人称）这是中英文不同的地方

Here is my version, just for reference:
Everyone will face countless choices throught his life, and every decision will greatly influence on the entire lifetime. Thus, the trail of one's life depends on the decisions he makes at every crossroads. Different choice, different destiny.

Hope it helps =]

追问

不过what kind of life you have is dependent on what kind of choice you would make.这句话对吗？ you would make 与 you have make哪个比较好呢？（Different choice, different destiny已经用过一次啦，不能用第二次所以要换个写法）

追答

用you make就可以了，书面语中很少用到would。而have 后面应该是用过去分词 make。
这句话是正确的，但是用动词词组depends on 比形容词词组更高级一点。

Answer 2

I like reading best.---best改better%D«ecause we can learn many knowledge from the books.---去the%D%AIn all of the books I have read----in改among%D%A,<Readers>is my best love----best love改favourite one.%D%AIt has lots of hilosophy articals---has 改 includes%D%AHe has loving heart---loving heart改 warm heart%D%A去掉1980后的but,变为yet%D%AThe other hobby I have is listen to music---listen改listening%D%AI think hobbis should be bring up---bring改brought

追问

请不要在这里写这些乱七八糟的东西好吗！

Answer 3

There are numerous choices throughout everyone’s life, and every decision you would make may cause an enormous influence on your life，so that what kind of life you have is dependent on what kind of choice you would make.貌似没有什么语法错误。