Question

帮忙改一下英语作文

A student who is a freshman that have had a computer ,a MPfour when he com into the university.It spend much money buying it.
Our class have had a heated discussion about the students.Opinions are divided into two.thinking the student have a rich family during his universities' life is better to buy these things.others hold the opposite opinion it is not good to make a good behave.
As far asi am concerned,the student should take silent attitudestwards the problem,and be thrifty,and study hard.

满分25，我们老师给我打了13分，我觉的不太好，可能是语法上和用词上有问题，帮忙改改，谢谢。

Answer 1

freshman就是指大一新生，就不用说student了，那样重复了。可以直接说MP4,不用说MPfour。spend主语是人，可以说：和he spent much money on it.heat就是一个形容词，我不知道你加ed是什么意思，还有你说的是一个学生，还加the了，叫你后面居然还用students，够强的...“others hold the opposite opinion it is not good to make a good behave”这句话中在it前面你至少应该有个that吧，这是最简单的了，而且behave是动词，至少还是要用名词的，至于你的前一句，我不大懂你的意思诶...你的开头，他有电脑，有P4是客观事实，用一般现在是比较好。我也就粗略的给你改一下，问题还是比较多的，你的英语实在需要提高，自己再好好看看，努力学习吧！

Answer 2

A student who is a freshman have a computer ,a MPfour when he come into the university.It spend much money buy it.
Our class take a hot discussion about the students.Opinions are divided into two.thinking the student have a rich family during his universities' life is better to buy these things.others hold the opposite opinion it is not good to make a good behave.
As far as i am concerned,the student should take silent attitudestwards the problem,and be thrifty,and study hard.