一篇英语作文,大家帮忙改改吧~

就是一篇普通的要求100词的作文,有什么语法错误,或者表达不好的地方,帮忙改下吧,谢谢~TheImpactofScientificDiscoveriesIn1964,th... 就是一篇普通的要求100词的作文,有什么语法错误,或者表达不好的地方,帮忙改下吧,谢谢~
The Impact of Scientific Discoveries
In 1964,the most famous discovery in the history of human being has been born at the university of Pennsylvania.That was the computer called ENIAC.Although looked big and heavy,ENIAC brought us into the "Computer Age"and then,It occurred the situation that computers appear everywhere in our life.
A great many other scientific discoveries also have large impact.They are changing our life all the time.In the last 5000 years,the human society experienced the change from brutish to civilization.This all depended on scientific discoveries.New developments in science and technology promote our living standard,lengthen our life,enrich our entertaments and make us go a step further to achieve more developements. So we can't leave scientific discoveries,unless we want to destroy ourselves.
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broadoutlook
2010-11-05
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1.looked应该改为looking .这是承前主语省略—当条件疑问句和后面的主句共用一个主语时,为避免重复,可以省略从句主语。
2.They are changing our life all the time最好能改为They have been changed our life for long long time.
3. entertaments应为entertainments.
4. step further两个单词顺序应该互换.
5.最后一句中的leave若能换成put away/abandon就更好了.

May you be successful later in life. Congratulations!
jessephine
2010-11-05 · TA获得超过388个赞
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我的英语程度并没有很高,但是以下是我的一些意见

1.第一段你用电脑的发明史来开头可是这和discovery好像有些冲突,discovery意指发现,而电脑应该是invention,因此第一段似乎是不成立的。discovery意指发现,即在已存在东西上找到的,如discovery of gravity,atom or proton.(这点我也不太确定建议你找些资料)

2. In 1964,one of the greatest invention/discovery in the human history had been born at the university of Pennsylvania.It was a computer called ENIAC.Unlike the one we are using now,ENIAC was huge and heavy.This invention/discovery had brought us into the "Computer Age"and then,the situation that the computers appear everywhere in our life occurred.

3. A great number of scientific discoveries also bring a large impact to us.They are changing our life all the time.In the last 5000 years,the human society experienced the change from brutish to civilization.This is all depended on scientific discoveries.New developments in science and technology improve our living standard,lengthen our life,enrich our entertainments and make us go a step further to achieve our goals.As a conclusion,those scientific discoveries have now become a necessary to our society and make our life nowadays more comfortable and convenient.

其实改到最后我也不知道在说啥了...==...
希望对你有帮助...
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