Question

帮我修改一篇英语作文

初二的，根据漫画编一篇故事。帮我找出错误，改得更好。谢谢：
last Sunday is my birthday. I gathered my friends and classmates to my bonfire party .I played the violin for them. Everybody in the place said ：”Your music is very beautiful."Then burst into warm applause.
After the party I carried my violin and bag went home .On the way home I saw a girl faint on the grass who was bitten by the snake. at the moment .I got into a total panic .I tried to let me calm .Then I used my knowledge to aid her .For a moment ,she turned to awake, she was very grateful to me.
Because she was injured ,I sent her to home safely his family was grateful to me .And I am happy too.
how happy a birthday it is.

Answer 1

第一个is 改为 was因为已经提到last Sunday说明事情发生在过去，故要用过去时态
and bag后边再加一个and
the snake->a snake因为这条蛇作者不知道是哪条，所以用不定冠词a 而不用the
let me calm->把me改为myself因为是让自己冷静下来，所以用反身代词myself
turned to awake->这里把to 云掉
I sent her to home->把to去掉
最后的it is处的is 改为was，因为生日已经过去了，所以要用过去时态

Answer 2

Everybody in the place said…… 改为Everybody there said：“ Your music sounds great”
On the way home I saw a girl who faint on the grass was being bitten by a snake.
I tried to calm down.
For a moment ,she turned awake

Answer 3

It was my birthday last sunday.My friends came to my bonfire party,celebrating my birthday.Aslo I played the violin for them, which they enjoyed a lot,saying" you played so well".
The party over,i went home with my violin and bag. I saw a girl lying in the grass,bitten by a snake.I was at lost at what to do but i tried to calm down.
I sent her home because she can't go home alone,which her family was grateful for .