Question

求简短的英语小笑话

不要是对话，要40-60词之间
可以是对话算了，要不太少了

Answer 1

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

Answer 2

Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"

森林之火

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬？”
I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s
too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and
then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the
sheet over. Is that all right?”
不是对话的不太好找，希望有帮助吧

Answer 3

The reds or the greens？
Two apples up in a tree were looking down on the world．The first apple said，“Look at all those people fighting，robbing，rioting －－no one seems willing to get along with his fellow man．Some day we apples will be the only ones left．Then we'll rule the world．”Replied the second apple，“Which of us －－the reds or the greens？”

红的还是绿的？
树上的两只苹果俯瞰着世界。第一只苹果说：“瞧瞧这些人吧，争斗、抢劫、骚乱——似乎就没有人愿意与别的人好好相处。总有一天，我们苹果就会成为世上惟一的幸存者。到那时我们就将统治世界。”第二只苹果回答说：“我们中的哪些呢——红的还是绿的？”

Answer 4

A German robber was taken to the court.
Judge:Can you speak English?
Robber:A little.
Judge:What can you speak?
Robber:Give me all your money?

一个德国抢劫犯被带到法庭。
法官：你会讲英语吗？
抢劫犯：会一点儿。
法官：你会讲什么？
抢劫犯：把你的钱统统交出来！

Answer 5

The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”